So, I have a slideshow presentation I need to get done before 8 A.M. tomorrow about prison statistics and demographics. But I gotta type this blog post. Because I really, really like today's topic. It's one of my favorite topics ever. Like this. Because, God, TVtropes is distracting, and so is HTGAWM. I will read that one day. Every. Single. One. Of. Them.
Anyways, other than the fact that I'm staying up until 3 am to finish this presentation, I probably will have late night thoughts about literally anything under the sun. Because that's just me and I like staying up late and then paying back for it in the morning.
I think we get to that point of tired sometimes where we really don't even care what we say, we just want to say something. Maybe we should go to bed. But also, maybe we are God and we are just a game of The Sims gone wrong.
"Babe we gotta take a pic for Instagram to make all the girls from my high school jealous and to make everyone on campus know that we are exclusive. EXCLUSIVE. Don't worry if it doesn't come out perfect because we are perfect on our very own and by the way when can I meet your parents because you can meet my parents whenever you want just tell me they won't
mind if I am dating someone like you just FUCKING KISS ME or else this picture is a waste of my time and so is like, literally everyone else who doesn't agree that we are perfect together ok. I just wanna make your babies and MAKE THEM SO GOOD because I literally have no clue what to do with my life other than kissing you. Your lips are like the sea of lips that taste like chocolate chip cookies and caramel applesauce and JUST PERFECT"
...Anyways. Just, whatever you do, do not write in these times. Actually, don't listen to me. Do it, do it, do it! It's hilarious if you do. Post on your Tumblr blog about your life.
Just remember, in this time, you are literally Jesus. You are also literally anything you set your mind to as well. Want to be Shane and Connor from The L Word and How to Get Away With Murder? You go girl! You are officially both. Because, when it is 3 A.M., you make the rules. You make every. Single. Rule.
And that's the thing. You can be sad about being alone at this time, or you could be the happiest person alive. I think I'm both. You can always make friends with people who stay up as late as you do and make each other happy.
No, I'm not meaning in that way, either. Just.. Whatever. It's all late night stuff.
So, let's ignore the fact that I spent the whole afternoon downloading custom content for my Sims, and get down to business. I hope y'all have been having a nice day. I also hope that this rain doesn't knock out my electricity.
So I think we've all gone through that stage of saying, "Girls are so much drama, so I just hang out with boys instead :)" phase in life if we're girls. If you're a guy or nonbinary, well, I'm sure you've noticed this too.
Society pits women against each other. We get taught so many things as girls. We get taught that we need to be smart, but not too smart, sexually attractive, nurturing, and we need to be friendly even to the people who piss us off. If not, we are dumb or a smartass, ugly, heartless, or a bitch. If we're one of them, then society says we're not worth love. If we're are all of the above, then...
Social norms are stupid. I think that women, regardless of their sexual orientation, skin color, age, weight, intelligence, and personality, deserve appreciation. I don't think our words should be taken lightly just because of our gender.
I also don't think that women fighting against each other for social status is okay. Maybe it's because I'm a feminist. Maybe it's because I'm a lesbian who doesn't want to fight with women. Either way, it's probably because I'm a feminist. It's so stupid that women are secretly taught to fight to be better than the others. They want to be ~relatable~ by being a bit of a tomboy, but not too tomboyish, or else they aren't attractive to other people.
See, I think that in the world, we should... Okay I created an image for this, but god, is it awful.
You can practically see where I started to give up, but that's okay.
Girl Power (2015)
Women are important. Especially to other women. Girls should learn not to hate each other because they're competing for some guy. Just Elle Woods it, ma- I mean, girl! Y'all know how it is! Elle is a great fictional character.
Women are supposed to be perfect and young, and this screwed up idea that society has placed on us made me really depressed at times. It's so... wrong to think that we have to live our lives as objects for someone to project their dumb fantasies on and invade our personal space at times. It's just about as ridiculous as me reading a recap of the pilot episode of HTGAWM while typing this post, hey.
Let's throw out society's rules and get dinner. One big female dinner and talk about all the things we've done wrong to each other in life just in competition. Let's get a place we can all agree on (yes! women can agree on things! if you're going to make that joke, you are probably someone who sits around deciding what game to buy on Steam so I don't want to hear it)
Let's just all love each other and learn to hate each other for things other than boys, what each other's bodies look like, and what we prefer doing on a Saturday night. I just want to play The Sims and watch The L Word after taking a shower. I deserve it.
I think comfort is one of the necessities to living a happy life.
Kind of like how it's necessary to have images to put in blog posts, we need comfort to be content and happy with ourselves. This includes being comfortable with our bodies, friends, partners, and our mind. We have to get comfortable with ourselves.
I realized this just a year ago that I had to get comfortable with who I am as a person and make sure I'm around people who made me feel comfortable or else I wasn't going to make it. I'm kind of happy I got to that point of revelation with myself.
I mean, sometimes, I have my off days, but life is a learning process. One where you need to take yourself back from society's standards that tell you you're not good enough.
Today, I think you should start a mission. The mission to never apologize for who you are. The mission to realize that your flaws are alright to have. The mission for never apologizing for your body. The mission to learn that it's okay to love, be hurt, be sad, and be an actual human being. The mission to live life to the fullest.
You, my friend, deserve to live comfortably. You deserve to live a life without feeling shameful for the hair on your body, the condition of the clothes on your back, your own feelings about anything, (as long as they're not hurting anyone) or any scars on your body. I believe you are a perfectly fine individual who deserves to go through life without judgement from society.
See, society places us in boxes when there's no need to be boxes. There needs to be freedom to be comfortable. Boxes aren't comfortable. Unless you're a cat. Then they are perfect, because anything that involves cats is perfect. Obviously.
We should be able to live our lives in comfort of who we are. We should be accepting of who we are more than we should think about how much we hate ourselves. That's no way to live. So we should start by caring about ourselves more and listening to what we think instead of shutting ourselves off.
We are important.
We deserve to make the step to growing comfortable with ourselves.
Never mind the fact I'm as sick as a dog, I'm writing a blog post.
So I guess I'm going to start by saying thank you for all the blog views recently. I don't do this for the views, but it's nice to see that people care enough to click on and maybe read for a paragraph or two. You're lovely no matter how much you read!
So your favorite (or not so favorite) straight-edge lesbian is back to talk about her dumb life and her dumb feelings. What's new? I brought HTGAWM screencaps this time, do not fear.
This scene made me so happy yet so "I WANT YOU TO FUCKING KISS"
Now, see, we've established I suck at feelings. But if you want to know how badly, just imagine this. There's three things in three different small cups. See, this starts off stupid, but gets even stupider. Imagine that one of those things is the rock. The other is a movie. The other is a free pass to tell whoever I feel that I like them and they feel the same way about me.
I'd probably pick the rock or the movie. I stopped collecting rocks when I was twelve. I hate movies like 99.9% of the time. Unless they include Margot Robbie. Then I definitely enjoy them.
I guess it all kind of is because a lot of people do use me to figure themselves out more. I mean, I am not entirely innocent in the situation, because I do do a lot of stupid stuff too. Such as the fact that whenever I develop feelings for someone I get angry. Just because I know I'm never going to do anything about it until it's too late.
So for a long time, I've just had 'whatevers'.
Whatevers- The very real definition of someone you're not in a relationship with, but you're not exactly 'just friends' with. Probably because you both don't want to be in a relationship, but don't want to be lonely.
I don't really think that just because you have a pulse and say one or two nice things to someone means you should be in a relationship. If you are willing to commit to that one person and tell them how you truly feel about them, then, yeah, you should probably be in a relationship with that one person if you both agree. The feelings part is the exact reason I should not be in a relationship.
I like casually flirting with people in ways that they definitely know is flirting, but subtle enough that they don't really get how much I like them, you feel me? At least that's what I'm used to. Let's pray to whoever is playing The Sims up there that nobody I currently like or used to really like is reading this. With my luck, everyone's probably reading this like how your mother reads your text messages when she takes your phone.
Again, if you haven't really done the right thing and expressed how you feel, please do it. I've spent so long just avoiding how I feel that I could have probably found a cure for literally every disease or something. I probably would have already found a cure for whatever I have right now!
I am so used to not being honest with others about how I feel, I think. It's just such a popular option with me that I never really think that things could be very, very different for me if I just said a few simple words. I just sit and listen to 8-bits. I don't even like 8-bits, people!
I guess my fear kind of stems from the fact that literally everyone I've had feelings for is a good friend. Also, the fact that I just really, really suck with words. And I just suck at things in general. And I don't really want to ruin things for myself. So I just prefer to cry to my good friends who I don't have feelings for (shoutout to Colton, Shayne, and Jordyn- y'all are the real MVPs here #FreeJordyn) and watch gay romances on primetime television.
No, this isn't about the Paramore song Looking Up but rather a nice, positive post about life in general.
I'm sorry for the past two days of depressing depressed posts. Yeah, it's my fault, but let's just move on to this blog post. What? Are you angry at me for being sad and then writing this blog post like nothing ever happened? Perhaps some of The L Word will make you feel better.
Life can get bad, yes, but life can also remind you that there's a new crappy Lifetime movie that we're all going to be bitter about, yet still watch it anyways. Come on, we've all seen that one about the pregnancy pact. All overdramatic movies aside, life can also be amazing!
See, life feels like this a lot. This is my average week or two.
The thing I want to really put emphasis on is that you have to live for the good moments. You also have to live for the average and bad moments too, but you're allowed to prefer the good moments. The good moments start to look great when you've had a lot of bad moments!
And you deserve the good moments. You deserve to enjoy the good moments and have them often. You deserve the world! Too bad this wasn't a talk show, or else I would give you all the good moments in a box. Imagine Oprah handing you happy moments in a box while you're in her guest audience. That's what I want to do to all of you.
Every single one of you.
See, the thing about life is that it's a bumpy ride. Things do get better, yes, but you learn to deal with things in a different way as you mature. You see things in an entirely different way than you did just a few years ago, right? So I prefer to think of life as a roller coaster. A roller coaster that can be only a mere 5 mph, or 120 mph.
It's tough to deal with that sometimes. It's tough to wake up at a 5 and quickly travel to a 25. But, after a long day, sometimes I just kick back and log on to my blogs and realize it's all worth it. This is what makes me happy. I can look up to that.
It's a fight, I know. But sometimes there's just one little thing that makes a day completely and utterly worth it. Even if it is just an ice cream or something. Especially if it is just an ice cream.
After all, ice cream is freaking fantastic. Especially mint chocolate chip ice cream. Yes, that was a reference to that Rebecca and Wes scene from HTGAWM. I love Wes.
Wes is from Ohio. I was, uh, looking up for the day I could proudly say a character I don't hate is from Ohio.
No, I'm not talking about F.R.I.E.N.D.S. the (amazing) television show. Why would I talk trash about that show? I mean, do you not know why I am? Probably not, but whatever.
So today is the birthday of someone who has collectively made my life a drama and Hell all in one. So, a drama that takes place in Hell. Just... I don't even have an image for that. So I made one!
In other words, I'm going to Hell. I really am. Glee Hell sounds a lot more fun and musical though.
I'm tired, so I'm sorry if I'm not making much sense or anything. I swear I don't always write posts when I'm tired! Really. I also apologize since I know this is going to be long. Or something.
So, when I'm talking about awful friends, I usually mean this one guy who would tell me that I was ugly and then call me stupid, (actually the other word but since I'm slightly classy I'm not going to write that word) then tell me that he hated women because 'they were mean to him sometimes'. Yet boys are always mean to him because he's him and there was no problem with that. Hmm.
It's hard to admit that I've grown from that person who was in a very depressed state of dependence to someone who is a different person, because not everyone believes it nowadays. They still think I'm the same person I was from awhile ago. So, like, a Tumblr receipt post about a celebrity that has things from 5+ years ago.
I don't really cry over the fact we're not friends anymore. I don't sit and wonder where it all went wrong, because I am glad that we don't speak anymore. It's a nice life growing comfortable with yourself rather than hating every single part of you because some guy tells you that you're not worth it because you're ugly.
And to all my readers out there who are living in Glee Hell because of someone, I'm going to tell you the things I wish someone would have said to myself.
First off, they are not the world. They are not God, unless they are playing The Sims. You're smart and you're worth it. Even if you can't get out of the friendship this week, promise me you will get out of it someday. You will be happier without them.
You are a beautiful human being, even with your flaws. You don't deserve to feel like a small, broken thing because someone can't simply have a bit of respect for you. You don't deserve to be the thing people kick because they want to practice so they can get stronger. You are not a horrible person for wanting to fight back against this. You are a good person.
You are not meant to be pushed down for other people to rise up above you. That is nobody's purpose in life. You are going to get stronger from this, and it will be one of the best things in your life. You might stumble upon people like them again, but you'll have the strength to move yourself along. You'll know what to tell those people.
I don't think that people really understand what it's like to be in a crummy friendship. Crummy relationship? Yeah, most people understand that. They've all learned about it in health class, right? Some VCR video or Lifetime movie showed them that. Or, you know, they turned on The Fosters and watched Brandon Foster interact with a girl.
He'd send you a picture of his genitalia and then ask, "What are you offering to the table ;)" after begging for your Kik
Anyways, other than the fact I literally gave some people a prompt for some awful Brandon X whoever the heck y'all ship him now with these days... I really do hope things get better for you, reader, if you're in that position. You deserve better, man. I don't want to get all Hyde on you, but Jackie, you're wonderful. We all have a crush on Mila Kunis, don't lie.
So while I'm a bit happy that a new Twenty One Pilots era is upon us, I'm also a bit upset about other things in life. Like, not having unlimited banana nut bread. Or blueberry bread. Or the fact that I usually get attached to television shows as soon as they've ended or are going on hiatus.
Anyways, on to sadder things. I didn't realize it was a day before Endpoint's birthday. Which means, yeah, it's another birthday I hate. Not that story's birthday, (although I need to rewrite it because ewewewewew I can't) but another birthday. I'll post about that tomorrow.
So, while we have amazing images like this in the world, there's also plenty of people roaming around that don't care about Asher X Bonnie or Bennett X Daya. Which, if you think about it, is the perfect analogy of the world. I'm sure my friends would agree after they sniffed hand sanitizers for a little bit (don't do that) and watched HTGAWM and OITNB at the same time at 5 am (don't do this either) and were all cuddling with each other in some large pudding-and-fish sandwich.
High-five for analogies!
But all Bonnie and Asher aside, sometimes, things in life really, really make me sad. Same with you, right? I mean, we can probably all relate to Brand New songs every once in awhile, right? You know, the loud sad ones for me, of course.
I get it, we can't be happy all the time. It's not realistic to say, "Hey, wake up happy, dork!" I mean, as much as 40-year old women who only seem to care about those starving kids in Africa the exact second you're down over your girlfriend dumping you for a guy who can juggle more balls and, in return, more lovin'. We all have our days of stalking exes and crying over fictional characters who have the name Mr Piddles. I'd add an image but I'm too sad to think about Tonya killing a cat. I mean, what self-respecting lesbian kills a cat?
I guess what I'm trying to get on to is that despite being an overall happy person for the most part, I have a lot of sad thoughts. I think about some of the most depressing sh-crap ever. I think about people who aren't even in my life anymore when I wake up in the morning, getting ready, and wonder if they would say a mean thing about my makeup, the scars on my face, or my clothes.
I also think about the worst possible scenario happening all the time. You know how on The Sims 2 you would be given a choice card when your Sim went to work sometimes? You know that option you would press, thinking it was the best, but really, your Sim just lost their job? That's how I feel sometimes when I do something risky. And I'm straight-edge and a lesbian who cries over a gay couple on a show about murder, there's not much 'risky' about my life. But sometimes, it really feels like it.
I just worry a lot about the future and also about the past, but I'm never really focused on the present. I remember when I became straight-edge, I wondered if people would find me boring now. But then I came to the realization that I am really, really boring no matter what. I mean, for Christ's sake, I cried over a fictional cat's death.
I think, for the most part, social media can be good. I mostly use it for posting pictures of my cats, but to each their own. Social media, if used in the right way, can be used for great things.
So why do other generations hate it? Because they can't understand it? Because that's not what they grew up with? Because they're not used to change? Listen, I'm not used to change either, but you don't hear me protesting the death of Facebook or anything. You also don't see me getting angry over people not playing the original The Sims even though we all know The Sims 2 was probably the best.
It's just so silly that whenever someone whips out their phone (I know some of you were thinking I would say the other thing. I would very much like to say the other thing because I know I have a lot of friends who whip out the other thing and would love if I, Brianna the lesbian, just mentioned that for a second) under the age of twenty-five to send one stupid freaking text, you have someone over fourty making a joke about how us kids are 'addicted to technology'.
Why do people think new things are bad? New things can be good. New things also can be bad, but I think something that can let me talk to my out-of-state friends very quickly is a good thing.
Yeah, some people use social media for terrible, terrible things. Some people also use it to stalk celebrities, (Yes, I did see Jack and Conrad's photo together. I am still very sad about the hiatus, but that cheered me up. A lot) but that's not the point here. The point is that we should all agree that social media is changing the world, and no, sending out a tweet every two hours about a member of One Direction isn't the start of the end of the world.
It's just another thing. Like the appliances in our house or cable television. It's not going to kill my generation, or your own. Just relax, sit back, let's turn on cable television on together, and be upset about how long it is until HTGAWM comes back. We can watch OITNB in just a few weeks together, though! Oh wait, you would actually need to know how to turn on Netflix for that.
So before I continue on where I left off with The L Word, I have to write this post. My head hurts and I keep getting cramps and chills but, hey, I'm not dead. Which means I can bring myself to listen to my computer make strange noises while my cat stares at me while I smash my keyboard looking for words to complete my thoughts.
Hey, was that depressing? Sorry. I don't think it's depressing anymore because my cat just came over to purr and stand on my chest like a lion. That's not depressing, it just hurts.
I spent all day today playing The Sims and painting. That was to be expected, of course. Now I'm going to watch The L Word after typing this and probably think about changing my blog's theme. That's to be expected. However, some things weren't expected.
Like this. This is Owen. Recent college graduate and recent father.
And that's his adopted daughter, uh, well, her name isn't important!
DAISY. Her name is Daisy, that was very unexpected.
Perhaps because whenever I think of Daisy, I think The Great Gatsby.
Personally, I don't really think I like unexpected things too much. I like to live my life in order, where I get to understand what's going on day after the other. It might be a taurus thing, or it might just be me.
I loathe whenever someone wakes me up from a nap or something with news that we're going to see Unexpected Relative Who Hates Me Just As Much As I Hate Them for dinner or something. Like, we could have a much better time if we just stayed here with our sad noodles. Yes, sad noodles. Don't make that anymore perverted than you have to.
Unexpected Relative Who Hates Me Just As Much As I Hate Them wants me to act like I'm happy to be there. They need to not tell me that every. single. time I see them. I'm like a cat- just leave me alone and sure, I'll knock some stuff down, but I'll be happier if you just let me come and go as I please, you know?
Unexpected Relative Who Hates Me Just As Much As I Hate Them asks me about any boys in my life with a wink. I say, "Nope," and Unexpected Relative Who Hates Me Just As Much As I Hate Them says something about how they want to see me have kids. I roll my eyes and wonder what is the most lesbian thing to do without, you know, actually saying I'm a lesbian. Because you know, Unexpected Relative Who Hates Me Just As Much As I Hate Them is homophobic.
Depressing, I know. Is this how it is for most of the black sheep of the family, too, though?
So where have we gone with this post? Well, unexpected things suck. Like, they can be considerably one of the worst things ever in this hellforsaken planet where apparently being mean to cats is okay by some people.
The thing I want to point out is the fact that, despite unexpected things can suck so bad we just want to go into our rooms and only let in our cats, we gotta live through them. We can make it through our oatmeal bath wash spilling on the floor and Unexpected Relative. We can fight the world against dumb stuff that springs on us like mashed potatoes on a breakdancing lesbian!
We will be victorious! We will be angry and nobody will expect it! We will be their headache on the summer day! We will not fail!
First and foremost, I would like to type a bit about how the blogger app is a disgusting excuse for an app and how I sincerely wish it would go screw itself. I hate it, I hate it! It deleted the original content for this post twice! Not once, but twice! You sick piece of crap.
One of the hardest types of posts to write is the posts you can relate to. Because it's like, you want the audience to know you relate, but you don't want to reveal too much, you know? So this post is going to be difficult to write.
I think one of the things that hurts the most about being a member of the L part of the LGBTQ acronym is all the constant doubt. Especially from men. Men who think they can turn you into something you're not with just a few (silly) words. It never really stops, does it? It took you years to figure out who you are, and there's people who doubt you because you have long hair and enjoy wearing makeup. Go figure.
I get life can't be The L Word, but...
I think that's harder to deal with than those really religious people at times. I was reading a post about lesbians, and a bunch of angry men declared that all women were bisexual for men's pleasure, but none of them were lesbians, except for the butch ones. I rolled my eyes and realized that this was an actual line of thought in someone's mind.
Listen. If you are a member of the LGBTQ community, you don't deserve to feel ashamed of yourself. I don't care if you're out or not, because, hey, maybe you don't feel it's necessary to come out. That doesn't make your orientation or gender any less real. You can tell whoever you want to tell. That doesn't make you a bad person.
Nothing is wrong with being LGBTQ. It's as normal as being straight or cisgender. I think the people who treat it as a very unusual and bad thing are the problem.
We should be able to walk in a world where the only thing seen as unusual is the people who treat things like this that way. We should be able to walk in a world where we are safe from violence and mistreatment. We should not feel as if we are the things wrong in today.
Most importantly, I hope my generation is the generation we learn to stop being so awful to LGBTQ people. We aren't living in the past, we are making the future. Start acting like it.
Also, I know that marriage is not the most important things about the LGBTQ community. It really isn't. It's just a small corner in a big part of the spectrum and there's bigger pieces that we should really focus on fixing. Like conversion therapy or the fact that it is actually legal to fire someone for being gay or transgender. But I really hope that for my USA-residents who are adults and LGBTQ readers who are in happy partnerships, you are able to get married really soon if you want to be! It's not legal in my state yet but soon, hopefully.
And to all my LGBTQ folks who are having a rough time, here.
Hey, friends! I'm feeling a lot better today. I feel like I actually have the energy to write one of these things for real now.
So today a friend of mine mocked Mr Rogers and said his sweaters were boring. I started yelling at her, because his sweaters were perfectly fine. I will defend sweaters until the end, especially one that is just as important as his. Yes, I do think that people should look up to a man as great as him.
Fred Rogers has left a legacy. A true legacy.
So, this isn't a Fred Rogers appreciation post per say (although I could most certainly write one) but rather a post about inspirational people.
See, I have a deep respect for people who have fought and clawed their way to be the person they are. Those people are some of the most inspirational people on the planet. The people who fought to get respect and fought for others are some of the people I really do look up to.
People don't have to be famous or related to you to be inspirational. I think that some people that just commit random acts of kindness can be some of the most inspirational people ever. I have to be honest, I cry when I just see a nice post about someone online adopting a dog from the shelter that was just merely hours from being put to sleep or when they buy shoes or something for a homeless person. Yes, I am one big ball of feelings with too much hair, I know. Just don't tell anyone.
But, if you want to know what kind of famous people I look up to, I look up to the ones who tell people to start going after their dreams. I look up to the ones who tell people what's wrong with the world. I look up to the ones who help people and try their very best to be nice.
I think that you learn a lot about people when you find out who they look up to. I think it leads you to figuring out why they do some of the things they do. It's a great way to figure out who they are.
And, sometimes, just sometimes, their inspiration is a cat. I mean, my inspiration is a cat. My inspirations in life are very much my cats. They just know how to work things.
Well, first off, I have to write this quickly. I started this super, super late. So, if there's not any HTGAWM screencaps in this post, you'll know it's because I didn't have enough time to go find them. I'm sorry I suck.
Also I was trying to go back onto my email I had when I was a lot younger, but apparently since the world hates me I'm locked out of it. Go figure.
Now, I'm not talking about those chain emails that were like, "So-and-so didn't share this and their mother died..." because those are (and always will be) awful. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but for people with OCD, the world can seem like it is literally a bad chain email.
When I was younger, I used to get chain emails a lot. Some of them were like the one listed above, but others were really nice and positive.
Plus, some of them even included pictures of cats like this! What a bonus.
I think that those chain emails was the first thing that really struck me as a random act of kindness. My aunt used to send them to me all the time when she had dial-up Internet, which, as you know, image heavy things just don't load quickly on dial-up. She literally spent 3 hours sending chain emails with 50 images of cute animals to her family members about how she hopes they're having a great day.
See, I don't think being nice is hard. I'm not very nice myself, but I know that it's not hard to be nice to the people you truly care about. Sometimes, it just takes tagging them on something on Tumblr or just asking them how their day is going and listening to them.
I just wish life was one big chain email where we just were like, "Have a nice day! If you're not, here's a million dancing cats!" Unfortunately, it's not. So we sent it through email!
Tag Your Friend in a Dancing Cat Gif day should be an actual thing. It's a great random act of kindness.
I have a bit of an apology for you if this blog post is a bit jumbled up. I want to watch The L Word and my mind is very, very focused on that. Still having a crummy time in the life of Brianna but I'll still drag myself out of my Depression Corner to write.
I love a lot of things about life. I couldn't say this awhile ago, but I can say this now. It's not a lie anymore.
I do not love this guy, though, because he never got me ice cream.
Colton, I still want that ice cream.
100 things to love about life:
The Internet
The sound of cats purring
Amazing art
New life
Success
Good food
New friendships
Good hair days
The night sky
New music
Old music
Ice cream (I bet your friends will get you ice cream)
Old friends
Park walks
Light perfume
Video games
Good books
Season 1 of OITNB
Season 2 of OITNB
Probably Season 3 of OITNB too
Getting your friends hooked on TV shows
Baths
Night time
Windy days
Concerts
Staying up late
When cats do that kneading thing
Season 4 of OITNB too most likely
Recovery
That day after you recover from a cold
Naps
Inspirational speeches
Inspirational people
Finding a lost pack of gum and having one piece left
Coffee
Tea
Candy
Murals
Feeling good about yourself
The day you feel okay
When your dog actually listens to you
Cats playing with lasers
Lotions
Cute birthday cards
Good TV shows
My Mad Fat Diary, especially
Instagram photos on your newsfeed that aren't food
When that one couple stops making out in front of your locker when you're in high school
Tattoos
Hilarious Youtube/Vine videos
Getting good marks on assignments
Great soundtracks
Bike rides
Summer nights that aren't hot
Autumn
Snow
Flowers that don't die
Baby farm animals
Seeing someone you love succeed
Sales
Perfect eyeshadow combos
The food Combos in itself though
When your friend gets you ice cream
When you do so great even your cat wants to tell you
Scenery
Good plays
Funny Tweets
That feeling when you exfoliate
Cuddling
Holding hands
New headphones
Kissing people you actually like
New technology
A phone call from someone important
Watching fish in a tank
Painting
Drawing
Playing music
Showing music to other people
Sweaters
Good color schemes
Conquering your fears
Even eyeliner
Scars fading
Sunsets
Sunrises
Clouds
When it's sprinkling
Watching heavy rain
Cute dog pictures from Tumblr
Ice cream
The moon cycle
Growing up
Not being scared of certain things anymore
Platonic friendships meaning a lot to you
Great writers
Great artists
Feeling good about yourself more and more each day
I've had a pretty crummy day and I've been looking forward to writing this post. So there's that.
Your body is important. Whether your body is frail and tiny, or curvy and large, it's a great body.
Do you understand that, Rae Earl? Do you?
my mad fat diary though
I think that a lot of people have felt awful about their body at one point in time (especially girls) and it's so sad. It's sad to think about how some people just don't see their body as beautiful when it is, in fact, very beautiful.
I wish our world wouldn't flash around images about how we could just lose ten pounds and be worthy of love. I absolutely loathe that companies make money on our insecurity about our bodies. Why can't we be free to express our bodies how we please without some multi-million dollar company throwing the fact our thighs touch in our faces?
We need to stop this. We need to stop letting them win. We need to learn that we have a body that isn't going to be a photoshopped piece of art and we sure as hell need to stop looking at our bodies as flawed pieces of work. Newsflash, our bodies are not meant to look like the girls who grace the covers of magazines.
If you want to lose weight, do it safely. Don't do fad diets. Please, I'm begging you.
The bumps on our bodies don't make us worthless either. People have bumps, scars, and spots. Don't feel ashamed because there's a spot on your chin or a bump on your hand. I promise that whoever cares so much doesn't really matter in the first place.
It's a constant battle to feel good about ourselves, isn't it? We fight with the mirror and our tummy and wrap ourselves up in fear and sadness because of the mere thought of some mean person thinking about us in a rude way. It's toxic to ourselves. It's sickening how people can profit off this culture of body hate. They build us up just to tear us down.
I'm just going to attach one of my favorite songs here for you guys.
The topic for today hits a bit close to home for me.
Once, before I knew I was what I was, I hit on boys. Actually, not really hit on them. I just hung out around them until eventually they made a move.
There was this boy who I hung around with. He didn't like it when I said smart things about science, art, English, or just random facts I knew. He would always turn his simple head and say, "What?" Eventually, I caught on. It wasn't good for me to know more than him. So I played stupid.
I played stupid for so long I began to believe I was stupid. When I was in that miserable relationship of miserable misery, I was to be stupid. I was to be a child. I was not to have an opinion on much other than him, and that opinion was to always agree with him.
I still catch myself thinking I am actually stupid from time to time, but the thing is, I am not stupid. I have an extremely high English score when I test. I know how to read HTML. I know pretty much what every single file on The Sims is for.
More importantly, I know that these files are utterly pointless to me.
(Don't delete the ccmerged file if you have store content, though, and don't delete these files if you upload Sims)
Now, this guy isn't the brightest. I dyed my hair blonde and he felt as if I did it because I wanted to show the world my level of intelligence. Personally, I just like my hair blonde. Not like he would listen, because he lives in his own little world where everything revolves around him, but I have to clarify here that I am indeed a blonde because I like my hair that way. His intelligence, however, isn't the point here. The point is that I played stupid to make someone feel better about themselves when I should have done the right thing and perhaps gave them a piece of my mind.
One of the times my, uh, unpleasant experience came back was when I was watching The Fosters (10/10, recommend watching when some awesome human being cuts out every single part with Brandon Foster and the lame romances he pursues)
I spent far too long scrolling through Brandon and Callie fan videos and let me just say it did not improve my mood. They were all better quality than this. Not helping.
Nope.
I did tear up at that scene. It made me realize that there's plenty of people who have gone through similar things like me. They wanted to seem better for someone else, and that's the part that really go to me.
Where in life did we experience this? Where in life did we learn that we had to change ourselves to fit someone else's standards? Better yet, when did we finally learn to stick up for ourselves?
I just want to say that you, reader, do not have to change anything about yourself for others. You shouldn't have to feel that. You shouldn't change your hair, clothes, makeup, personality, or life for anyone else. You change those things for you. You, the person who you're always stuck with.
I learned today I'm going to have to write this post a bit early. I guess while I wait for my ice cream cake to dethaw I'll get started on this.
Have you ever noticed that we would gladly dish out money for just about anything, but the moment we think a piece of art is cool, then see the price tag, we think, "Oh I/relative/friend could totally make that! Never mind!"
Listen, artists have rough careers. So, imagine when you were constantly getting asked about what you wanted to be when you grew up. You get asked, "What do you want to do as a career?" What was your answer? Then imagine the following responses to your answer.
"Oh, well, you should always have a backup!" "You always have time to reconsider! You're still young!" "What else are you thinking about?"
Then realize that we never tell this to people going into politics, science, or math-incorporated careers. We support those people. We tell them that they will have good pay, a good life, and a multitude of other things. It's okay to be those things.
I think that it's important to support people. Unless they're a freaky murderer who wants to kill everyone. Then, uh, nah.
This isn't how it's hard to get into an arts career. This is about our constant doubt that someone can make it in an arts career, then when they're trying their best, we choose to be a complete Debby Downer towards them and not support them. Yes, Debby Downer is the term I'm using here to replace the swear words I have in mind. Again, I try not to swear on here.
I think I need to be a bit more clear to some people. Artists spend years on their craft. They spend hours and days at a time focused on what they do. They develop a style over a course of time. Then they spend more time trying to simply get exposure for their art. Then, you, being the person you are, decide that someone else could make it for you for cheaper. Except for the fact they usually can't.
It's so silly that people look at being a doctor, being a social worker, etc. as a real job, but art is not a real career to them.
To all artists out there that want to make their love a real career: go. Fight for it. I believe in every single one of you. Unless you're that kid in my school who makes raps. You, my friend, are just annoying when you tell girls inappropriate things and bully literally everyone.
I think most people have a, "It's cool until I have to pay for it," view on art. Which, I think as a society, we need to try our hardest to turn away from that.
Actually, this isn't a crash course on normalizing media. This is just an honest-to-gosh post about the media and how we need representation. Also, let me just write one sentence about how it's my birthday today. You may be asking yourself, "Darn, Brianna is so serious about life. She's posting this on her birthday, when she could be hanging out with other people and eating cake and doing absolutely anything but this!" Well, this post was scheduled. I picked the topic about a month ahead, because I really do find this stuff interesting.
I remember my first time seeing a lesbian couple on television. An actual, breathing, kissing, lesbian couple that were in an actual relationship, instead of just a fan-theorized gay couple. I remember I was watching Animal Planet when I first heard a woman talk about her girlfriend on television. I mean, I think my first time seeing a gay couple on television was from Glee. Oh Glee. My first time I saw a lesbian couple married on television doesn't feel that long ago. Stef and Lena from The Fosters.
If only I could still watch this show, 'cause Brandon's just intolerable and I can't bear to let my eyes watch that boy ruin everything good and holy on this show.
Like, heck yeah, ABC family, you show that lesbian interracial couple! You get past all the haters at 1 Million Moms (who, false advertise- they don't have one million moms) who say this show is not for childrens' eyes because of the lesbians. Seriously, this is a very tame couple compared to all the other shows I've watched. Also, Jude is a little boy who is confused about his gender identity and sexuality.
Then I got into Orange Is The New Black. Oh boy. That show is NSFW (but why would you be watching it at work) and I love it. Are shows about crime being popular like an actual trend right now? Whether or not, I like it. Yes, give me all those gay couples on crime shows. On OITNB, there's plenty of lesbians and the main protagonist is a bisexual woman. There's a transgender hair lady and she's played by the always lovely Laverne Cox. There's plenty of different races on there and Poussey is like, hands down, my favorite.
Also, I started watching The L Word. Alice is my favorite so far. So many random NSFW scenes. So many.
I also love How To Get Away With Murder. We all know this. I won't shut up about Connor and Oliver, I know. That show has a cast who are racially diverse, and Connor is gay. Oliver is gay too, and together they make the perfect I'll-Hack-Computers-For-Your-Case-If-You-Kiss-Me couple. Also, I had a theory that Rebecca was bi. At least, I hope she was. Did you submit to my inbox yet? You know, for birthday purposes.
Think about it this way, you would probably be weirded out if I shut up about them.
Plus, they're cute. Don't lie to yourselves.
I guess I never thought about this until just recently, but honestly? We've come a long way in representation in television. I remember those moments of first hearing a girl call another girl her girlfriend, and thinking, "Woah, it's okay to be that on here? Yay!" I guess I'm so used to the movies I get dragged to. You know, one woman protagonist who gets some man and they live their life together after the man fights someone blah blah blah. I mean, I know movies are typically one hour and thirty minutes long, but come on. You've got to be kidding me.
It's so refreshing now to see a world that I barely saw a few years ago. A world created by people who are writing things they can relate to. A world that isn't so scared anymore of what they deem 'different'.
Of course, there are people who just don't understand, saying that making television, books, and movies isn't going to change a thing in the world. Those people are, typically, the people who are well-represented here on television, books, and movies.
Was talking to someone, and talking about my story I was writing (finished it, very terrible now that I look back on it) and mentioned the fact I had a character who didn't quite fit into the gender binary. They took it as the character was male. They said, "Good for you. You're a female and females typically write chick flicks, so it's good you don't only write females." I said the character was neither, and it made the conversation awkward.
I am making TV look like the world looks. Women, people of color, LGBTQ people equal WAY more than 50 percent of the population. Which means it ain’t out of the ordinary. I am making the world of television look NORMAL.
I am normalizing television.
Shonda Rhimes said this, and let me just say, I have to agree. Now, if you need a refresher on who she is, she is the executive producer of How To Get Away With Murder, the head writer of Grey's Anatomy, and Scandal.
Having one female character on a movie who, "has three brothers" and therefore knows how to fight isn't progressive. The female character always hooks up with a male lead. She is typically a white woman. She is also typically- and excuse my language, I try not to swear here- a badass. But not in a cool, Annalise Keating badass way. A, "I am here to be a token female character who is conventionally very attractive, but kind of a tomboy, and I will hook up with the male lead at the end after like, eh, five conversations."
It's frustrating. It's frustrating to see people writing characters that are carbon copies of one another. All the straight, white, male characters get the interesting roles and everyone else is left in the dust with too many shows. It's frustrating to see good plots with boring characters that don't represent the real world.
Whoopi Goldberg was inspired to pursue her career after seeing someone like her on Star Trek. Lucy Liu dreamed of seeing someone like her on television. Let's not even forget to mention that, after seeing Lupita Nyong'o, a girl decided against using skin bleach.
Seeing gay people on television gave me a reason to be more comfortable with myself being the way I am. Seeing people with disabilities encouraged me to learn more about ableism. Seeing Lauren on Faking It made me realize I needed to educate myself about intersex people. Seeing Cole on The Fosters made me learn so much about transgender issues.
Alternative universe where Cole and Lauren Cooper make Brandon Foster cry, please and thank you.
Brandon Foster is the worst character on television ever and I'd pay anything to see him not be on that show anymore so I don't have to see his sorry face on there again.
Was that mean? It probably was mean.
Of course, the people behind the cameras, words, and everything else possible matter, too. If you are a female, person of color, and/or LGBTQ and you like to write, direct, etc, go for it. Don't let someone tell you you can't do that because you are a female, not white, or not straight. They are wrong. You can conquer the world with your talents.
This world we are making with media should reflect how the world actually is. We need gay people. We need transgender people. We need bisexual people. We need asexual people. We need pansexual people. We need people whose romantic and sexual orientation do not match. We need women. We need people of color. We need people of different body shapes. We need people with mental and physical disabilities. And, most importantly, we need to stop treating it like a crime to have more than just the token characters required so most of the community will never complain. It's not an excuse to say, "But if we make too many gay men, what happens if the girl viewers are attracted to them and they're not attracted to them after learning that they're gay?"
Reasons you are wrong #1-
This is Connor Walsh. He is gay. Both the male and female viewing of HTGAWM has a giant crush on him. Including me.
And I don't even like men.
It's silly to make excuses for things like this. This isn't hard. Writing gay people is not that different than writing straight people. Casting people who have different races isn't hard. Writing females isn't hard. Writing people who are transgender or non-binary isn't that hard. Writing people who have mental illnesses or physical disabilities isn't hard. If you can't do that in 2015, you are probably very, very lazy.
Anyways, as a little birthday gift to me, who are some of your favorite characters in books, movies, and television shows that are some of the things that this post mentions?
Also, happy birthday to me and I'm looking forward to writing blog posts all month! Scary, but excited!
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