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RE: Orlando Tragedy and Death
Death is something I, even after watching Six Feet Under and to a lesser extent, Desperate Housewives, can't really grasp on to. I do not know if an afterlife exists, or if we become nothing. I do believe that there is no true purpose to life, except for the purposes you make.
Recently, with the troubles of the Orlando shooting and Christina being killed, I have thought about death more in-depth.
Death is so final in a world that is always changing.
The Orlando shooting has hit a bit closer to home. I've spent hours finding out the victims' names and their stories. Those stories that were canceled. Those beautiful stories that they were writing and doing so well at were ruined by some fucking idiot with a gun and hate in his heart. I don't know if it's just the thought that most of the victims were young, or if it's the fact we share the same community.
While we can sit down and listen to Justin Timberlake until our ears bleed from What Goes Around... Comes Around, tragedies like this make me realize how much of a bubble we can live in.
While I am sitting over here with the luxury of being able to see the people in the fraternity across the street watching soccer or some shit, it kills me that people that were just trying to enjoy themselves may not have that luxury anymore. People who had kids, people who were just doing their jobs, people who had plans of getting married, and people who were trying to enjoy themselves in an environment that was accepting.
These people may have missed out on the happiest days of their lives.
The Orlando tragedy is eating me up inside. I don't know how I'm supposed to function after this. While I didn't personally know any of these people that were victims in the shooting, I still feel like this is going to be absolutely impossible to shake off. Am I supposed to live in fear of becoming more open about my sexuality? I was already living in fear after being sexually harassed by people who constantly want to know every detail of my sex life, and even worse, want to be apart of it.
While Matthew Shephard wasn't the first victim of a gay hate crime, it was what brought it to our attention that a brilliant boy's future had been ruined by two fucking idiots. Two fucking idiots who didn't value life.
That's what pisses me off about these things. Your life didn't matter enough to you, so you purposefully had to ruin another's? Fuck you.
This is such a difficult post to write, because there is no positive, uplifting message to end it on. There's no good silver lining to any of this. The only positive I can see in the world that some might see is that the shooter is no longer alive to torture others with his awful beliefs.
I wish I was religious sometimes. I wish I had something to turn to in times like these. Instead, I'm here with no uplifting outlook on this. Nothing is going to change. People on Facebook are still going to post their stupid statuses about how they're worried about catching AIDS from some queens handing out LGBT+ pride pamphlets. I'm still going to get the same dumbasses asking how I could prefer women and still not want children. Never mind the fact we live in a world like this, where forty-nine people got killed while they were just trying to enjoy themselves.
There is no prevention for this. The damage has already been done.
I think nightclubs are the perfect example of youth. Nightclubs are a place where typically young people all go to. It doesn't matter who you are; the nightclub didn't care.
So the idea that a terrorist took these lives in a place so well known as the symbol for youth kills me inside.
I am sickened by the idea that certain politicians are using this tragedy to move their campaign forward. I get it, I get it. You really want The White House. However, this isn't fucking Big Brother. There are families who lost their son, their daughter, their aunt, their uncle, their partner, their friend, and so much more. You can't fucking just say, "Hey, I'm sorry for the people affected by this. My heart goes out to them." and leave your two cents on how to stop this for two fucking seconds?
I don't care if you support Trump or Clinton or whatever third party is out there. I really don't right now. I feel so numb and odd about life right now that politics is the last fucking thing on my mind. However, neither of these politicians proved to me that the LGBT+ community actually means anything to them in their stupid campaign. You know, the community that lost members that were contributing to the world. You know, the community that votes for them.
The world is fucking vile, but life is so precious we keep breathing, eating, and drinking to continue on.
Rest in peace to the victims of the Orlando shooting. You were so much more than a driving force in a political campaign. You were people who breathed the same air as us, the people who were studying to become something, and the people who were just trying to have fun. Some fucking idiot who should never have had a gun (I don't care what you think about gun control, but seriously, who the fuck thinks a guy previously on the FBI's watch list should have a fucking gun?) just ruined the lives of too many. He ruined too many families. I'm glad this fucker is dead now. He contributed nothing to this world except for pain and misery. I hope there's something worse than Hell out there, and I hope he's drowning in it.
But God bless the U.S.A, right? No way, no way U.S.A. Only you fuckers could use something like this to try to promote Orange Man and Heelary CLintson. Fuck you. I'm disgusted, and no amount of Six Feet Under will ever bring any closure to this senseless violence and torture. Why? Because these people should have been living. These people should still be here, and not being used in a political battle between two fuckheads who have hoards of useless fuckers behind them breeding left and right because babyeeeeeeees, not even realizing what kind of fucking world they are bringing the baybeeeeeeessss into.
The U.S.A. may be more tolerant of LGBT communities, but it still fucking sucks that someone can just purchase a weapon and take out people who choose to live differently than them. But hey, #LoveIsLove, right?
#DeathIsDeath #MurderIsMurder
Not as fun hashtags, right?
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