Last episode, we had received not enough of Michaela Pratt. Also, Eve came back and apparently, she knows that there's something about Wes that went on between him and Annalise. We still don't know what it is yet, but it's the reason Annalise has been protecting him to the literal- and metaphorical- grave. Annalise told Asher about Bonnie's past, and Bonnie found out. Bonnie then told Annalise she wanted her to die, which was a bit extreme. Also, Oliver met Phillip (the cousin of the adopted murder siblings) and it doesn't look so good. It looks like Bonnie
Speaking of Oliver, I almost got to watch The King and I the other day, which the actor who plays Oliver is in. But do you know how expensive New York is? I would have not had any money for anything else if I did it. So I'm sad I spent all my money on this ugly scarf that just gets uglier the more I stare at it. Kind of like a Halloween pumpkin you enter in on of those lame town pumpkin festivals you try to convince yourself every single year it has some meaning and entertainment value to it.
The Flashfoward: Connor is in the mansion with Laurel, Wes, and Michaela. They're yelling at each other, and Bonnie comes in all Paris Geller style. She tells Connor that it was all his idea, and that if he doesn't learn how to quaporate that he'll be the next dead body in the house. Wes gives the gun to Bonnie. Then, at the end of the episode, we see Catherine in a car with Phillip. You know, the boy she swore she had
noooooooooo clue existed.
The present: Bonnie hates everyone and everything while everyone else runs off trying to save Caleb and Catherine from going to jail. At the end, everyone has sex except for Asher, Bonnie, Catherine, and Wes. You know how you know people are doing well on this show? They get laid.
Sex and Lying, catch it on ABC at 10 PM Thursdays!
The Underdogs:
Annalise: This show uses Viola Davis's talent to the best they can. From letting her take a selfie perfectly on the first try (lmao how unrealistic- you need to take at least 30 to find the ones you want to present. It's like an art gallery! You don't take the only one you have. You debate for hours on which piece you want to flaunt around the world) and then her mischievous, manipulative ways.
Frank: Frank didn't like not being the favorite elf this episode. Especially when the only other elf had a substitute for the day. So he gives up
$50,000 to help win Catherine and Caleb's case so he can be a favorite again. His face during the scene kills me.
Sidenote: Why is every single person's kitchen in this show so dark? Don't you need to see the food? Fuck y'all and your darkly lit kitchens.
P.P.S- I don't know why everyone on Tumblr hates Frank because he's 'problematic'. You're watching a show about fucking murder. Keep your dumb Tumblr bullshit away from me, because honestly, he's fucking hilarious.
Bonnie: The episode starts with Bonnie in the shower crying. That's literally all that we see of her. You know what the similarity of this episode vs
Gilmore Girls was? We didn't have enough of Liza Weil.
Nate: You know, I'm glad this show is using Billy Brown to their advantage. I mean, some of that advantage is to show off his insane 20-pack during sex scenes, to which I say
how? But this season, he's way more involved in everything. I still don't know what quite to think of him, but I sometimes feel like a bad person while remembering that he switched someone diagnosed with schizophrenia's file with Phillip's to save the day. So he's officially labelled the underdog this episode, because I don't know where else to put the poor guy.
Wes and the Accomplices (and Asher... and Oliver):
Wes: We still don't know why Annalise would rather die than let this kid go to jail, but I'm expecting it'll come around the episode that they hired a child actor to play the part of Young Wes. I still can't say that he's done anything particularly worthy of the troops of people who hate him to back off. However, he did admit that he should probably just have gone to jail for murdering Sam, which made me feel
a little bad for him. I mean, come on, that's pretty emotional! And there's the whole
one of the only characters that didn't get laid this episode thing.
Michaela: Michaela is basically the queen here, and she owns a fraction of my heart. I don't know how anyone can still hold grudges against this poor girl. First, she tries to find DNA samples to see if Phillip was lying about the uterus he came out of or the sperm he was created from. Then, later on, she gets laid for the first time in like, four episodes. And you know what? It was really romantic. Without all the murders, drugs, lies, and all sorts of other shit going on, it's like a romantic comedy between Michaela and Caleb! Just cut out 80% of the shit that goes on in her life, and the incest and murder charges with Caleb. I'm glad the babe got what she wanted, but I just want to trust him.
Also, high-five to the person who decided that Michaela needed to wear that sweater.
Oliver (and Connor so I don't have to repeat many things): So Oliver isn't in as much danger as we thought. Connor was relieved to know his boyfriend just went to go talk about
World of Warcraft with a fucking suspect. You know, me and a friend of mine were talking about what video games the characters would play, and we did mention Oliver would probably know more about WoW than me. I think the reason why we love Oliver so much is because he's very relatable for many of us. He has a boring job and wants more excitement in his life.
I'm glad Oliver is safe (I mean, until Annalise knows about the sex on her desk thing- I have a feeling she'll be happy about it) but I feel as if the people who got really worked up over this were a bit disappointed. I predicted that Phillip was the Huck of
How To Get Away with Murder, so I'm a bit disappointed and yet, at the same time, relieved.
Also, now we know that Oliver is into kinky things. Yeah, they had sex on Annalise Keating's desk at school. So next time we see the classroom and Annalise runs her hands over that desk, we can all have a laugh while our minds flashback to Connor licking the guy's foot.
Laurel: Laurel was a substitute for Bonnie this episode. At the very end, she got laid. Yeah, that basically sums up everything that happened with the girl.
Doucheface: Doucheface wants us to retire his nickname. He's also worried about Paris Geller, so I'm expecting her to break up with him over the phone like she did to her other boyfriend on Gilmore Girls.
Doucheface finds a wire in the pen. Of course, they use it to their advantage and pretend as if there was a gun in the Hapstall mansion. Which, of course, ends up with Emily getting a search warrant on the place.
The Hapstalls (and Jessups... and Sinclairs... or St Clairs....):
Catherine and Caleb: This episode, watching these two was like playing a handheld water game. You had to listen to Caleb saying he wanted a plea deal of 30 years so his sister got none, and then listen to Catherine almost take a plea deal of 10. You know, listening to them talk about how much they know about lawyers annoy the hell out of me, because if they really knew
that much, they'd know that Annalise very rarely loses a case. Sure, you may later be involved in a completely different murder, but at least you won that first case, and plus the second case for the other murder won't even have you as a good suspect! At least Annalise won this case!
Anyways, the theme song for these two probably aren't really the Folger's commercial jingle. I mean, I won't let it go, so they probably at the very least have awkwardly groped each other a couple of times while watching
America's Funniest Home Videos which is still really fucking gross.
Their song is more like the, "Why you always lyin'" song, because Catherine is a big, dirty liar. She acted like she didn't know Phillip, but after seeing her in the flashforward, we know that isn't fucking true.
Phillip: So Phillip isn't as dangerous as we thought. Not yet, anyways. What this show taught me is that everyone can become a murderer (or an accessory) with time and after you just happen to fuck the wrong person. But he still wanted to tell the police, which of course sucked for Annalise. Anddddd... then we found out Phillip was a product of incest. God damn, that must have been such an ego boost for the actor who plays him.
Emily: Unfortunately, I don't think the writers here at edgerambles.blogspot.com are going to give too much of a shit when this girl is dead and gone. Stop calling the actress that plays her ugly, though, fuckheads. Seriously, how fucking immature can your stupid asses get? And this is coming from the person who does
this for most of the day.
Quote of the Week: "My junk just inverted having to listen to your whiny ass." -Frank Delfino to Asher Millstone, 11/12/15
Honorable mention:
"You taste like my sauce." -Frank Delfino to Laurel Castillo, 11/12/15
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That took me an embarrassing amount of time.
