How to Get Away With Murder RECAP- Season 2 Episode 12 "It's A Trap"

How to Get Away With Murder RECAP- Season 2 Episode 12 "It's A Trap"

   2/25/2016       Unknown

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Whenever this show starts with Wes intensely staring at some shady stuff, I know it's going to be a good episode.

Rose and Annalise: Mahoney and Rose's stories added up. Annalise got picked by Mahoney's father for the case because of her race and gender. What's really depressing is that you can just see tears in Annalise's eyes. Rose thinks that Annalise is milking the fact she's pregnant. I don't know what that's about, really. Rose doesn't want to be deported.

Annalise hates her adopted five children dearly. I totally understand.

Frank: Frank told Laurel about the fact he strangled preppy Lila Stangard and tossed her away like a bag of used cat litter. Of course, that doesn't go well with the ladies, so it pissed her off. Which is why Laurel seeks revenge in the form of Dean Thomas. See below.

Frank fucked up the Mahoney case by not forcing Rose to testify.

Laurel: "We should go to Ohio," Laurel says. I whisper no at the computer screen. They ended up in Cleveland, Ohio, which is out of the cornfield zone.

Dean Thomas and Laurel kiss a little in the car after she lies about why she's upset with Frank. I knew it was coming. You could see him look at her lips before it. Oh dear god, I hope this is spammed all over Tumblr.

Listen, I ship Laurel with many, many people. If you're going to judge me for that, then fine.

Michaela: Michaela and Connor go back and forth between who should bang Asher to calm him down. Asher is like that really annoying child who two teenagers pass back and forth while their parents are off drinking whiskey. Oh boy. Jokes on every Michaela x Asher shipper and Connor x Asher shipper, because Michaela goes off and hooks up with Caleb again.

because susan is trash and so is caleb this only makes sense

Fortunately for all of our faithful Michaela fans, she is wearing a gorgeous outfit again. It's so relieving to know that there are people designing their outfits and think, "Hey, let's make sure Michaela looks hot af this episode." Bless you people. And bless Aja Naomi King for her face.

Asher: Even when Asher knows everything about Sam, he's still left out.

Connor and Oliver: Connor finally remembered that he has to use manners towards Annalise to get her to do what he wants. Of course, he forgot them like ten minutes into the show and starts bitching about stuff again.

Connor wants to escape Annalise, so he tries talking his boyfriend into going to him to Stanford. Oliver tells him he might not even get in because he has never seen him study before. See, Connor. You're trapped. You should have studied.

Then they have this cute little neck kiss scene.

Folger's Commercial  Love Triangle: Jesus christ. It's like Myspace emo here. Catherine tells Caleb that Phillip loved her like she wanted a brother to love her. Uh. K.

Caleb and Michaela hook up again, which disgusts any Laurel x Michaela shipper. Can I seriously make a hate club for them? Michaela deserves better.

Where We Ended: Annalise and her children didn't pay a cent of that blackmail money. Mysterious emailer (which I don't think is just Phillip) sent another video of Annalise and Nate together. We also end on a scene of Christophe (young Wes) holding a knife above his dying mother.

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How to Get Away with Murder RECAP 2x11- "She Hates Us" (yes, she does..)

How to Get Away with Murder RECAP 2x11- "She Hates Us" (yes, she does..)

   2/18/2016       Unknown

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Last episode, shit happened. Most of it I couldn't screencapture because of a new screenshot program I don't know how to try.

Annalise had a baby in her arms. The baby wasn't real, though. Wes contemplated suicide. That's... That's pretty much all that I can remember. And I'm on a schedule this recap.

Annalise- She went back to work this episode. And just so you know, she was just as much of a badass ten years ago until now. Apparently, ten years ago, she was fighting to earn tenure. She was also working out a deal with Christophe's mother.

Annalise, if you want to slap around your interns, I totally would understand. I mean, I love the Keating Five and all, but dear God.

Sam- Yes, Sam was in this episode in a flashback ten years ago. Yes, he was actually kind of a decent person back then.

Asher- His immaturity might just get him murdered. By Oliver. Like I wouldn't be surprised if Oliver did a Frank. He also listened to Oliver, Connor, and Michaela talk shit about him. Oh god. Oh dear god. Asher is like that one really creepy kid who stabs kids after they exclude him from tag. Or at least, that's what he seems to have become.

Asher called Connor out on his nonsense, which turned into a therapy session. That's what the first post is about. I included it because I still don't have all this screenshot stuff sorted and it made me laugh.

Frank- I'm cackling at his hair in the flashback. He was always the type of guy to take Sam's side, apparently...

Bonnie- So Bonnie was one of Sam's clients. She also gave Annalise advice on how to deal with pregnancy pains. Was she pregnant at some point in time...?

Michaela- Caleb called her a whore this week. Oh my god, what the absolute fuck. God, go back to your Folgers commercial already. Oliver also was trying to pawn off Asher to her so she had a new boyfriend. Dear god, please, no. These options in men are all trash. Michaela only deserves the best now. Like, she deserves her prince charming who carries her off away from all this bullshit on his shoulders.

Michaela got called out for talking about how the client of the week deserves all the time he could get if Catherine got time. Annalise said that what she was saying had nothing to do about Catherine, but instead it was all about her feelings about Caleb.

Michaela quit and brought Connor with her to the 'Fuck Annalise' train. You'll both be back, you fools. By next episode, too.

Fuck it. I decided I am jumping on the Michaela and Laurel ship. She's the only person I trust enough to be careful with her heart.

i'll have a song for them next week, guys

Nate- Nate told Frank to leave him alone about Phillip or else he was going to tell Annalise.

He got Annalise comfort food though. Awwww...

Wes- Today, Wes was encouraged to go see a therapist. Then he said he wanted to shoot himself to the doctor. Yeah, Wes, I totally think that's the reasonable thing you say when you want to leave. Look, buddy, I get it. You want sleeping pills. But you need mental help after all the shooting and murder. He went to the mental ward.

Wes had a really depressing childhood, to nobody's surprise. He saw all of his mother's blood after she shot herself. The doctor told him that after Annalise got shot, he was triggered by this and remembered all the gory, unforgettable memories of his mother.

dean thomas goes through too much to function properly.png

Laurel- The saga of Wes and Laurel pretending to be boyfriend and girlfriend to get through shady shit continues. Of course, the doctor checking on Wes said that Laurel was a bad girlfriend for thinking it wasn't that serious about suicide.

Then Laurel got fired for accusing Annalise of punishing Wes by leaving him in the ward. Being employed by Annalise would be pretty stressful. Not only are you fired for simply existing and saying one or two things, but you're probably also doing a bunch of illegal crap that is going to follow you years after law school.

Laurel told Frank that Flaurel is on the rocks because of all the shit he hasn't told her. Oh, boy. Don't start this. And then because Laurel started it (complete with tears) Frank blurts out that he was the one who killed Lila. FEELINGS, FRANK. DON'T HAVE THEM. UNLESS YOU WANNA GET AWAY WITH THIS SHIT. I mean this is really good character development and I'm actually really impressed with the writers for this but like... FRANK. 

Song for Laurel and Frank this week- I'm Not Your Boyfriend, Baby by 3OH!3

(we might as well relish the time we have until this song no longer applies to these two)

Connor- Other than talking shit about how he just hung out with Asher because he felt bad for him, not much really happened. Until the exact last second of the episode where Connor received a video over e-mail of Wes and the Accomplices sneaking around the Hapstall mansion after Annalise got shot. And the guy actually fucking was talking about this while in the kitchen while Asher and Oliver was right there. Uh, dude. Everyone needs to be more careful with your shady shit. Isn't this how you almost got caught last night.

Client of the Week- I hated this case. I like the cases where I actually care about the client. He shot a guy on purpose and then texted the guy's mom afterwards. His last words to her was the creepy guy's.

The mother was willing to forgive him. Uh. What. The. Fuck.

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How To Get Away With Murder 2x10 RECAP- "What Happened to You, Annalise?" (aka wtf is going on)

How To Get Away With Murder 2x10 RECAP- "What Happened to You, Annalise?" (aka wtf is going on)

   2/11/2016       Unknown

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Hey, long time no see! I missed you guys! I've been busy at school which means very little time for my rambles on this blog. Instead, I've been writing out all of my notes for intro to effective speaking and dying a little on the inside. Anyways, let us get back to the fuckery of this television show.

So last time we left off, Wes shot Annalise in the stomach and then we got a dramatic flashback of when Wes was young. There's a guy named Christophe. We don't know much other than that. Oh, and Frank dumped Catherine somewhere and Annalise pinned everything on her.

Laurel:
Laurel took away the gun from Wes so he didn't finish Annalise off. Laurel is now that one friend who isn't down with murder. Laurel is also really emotional this episode, because she's becoming the new Bonnie.

do not be fooled she was crying two seconds before this

Bonnie:
Bonnie is so sweet to Annalise this episode. It's almost as if Bonnie didn't say that she wanted her to die just 2 (is that right?) episodes ago. But she then drugged her. God fucking damn it, Paris! Rory Gilmore would be ashamed!

On topics other than, you know, drugging people, Bonnie's more natural makeup look is really beautiful on her.

Annalise:
Annalise is so hardcore just 2 weeks ago she came home worried about the next court hearing. Listen, I know being a lawyer is stressful, but this show portrays it so dramatically it's almost concerning. And Annalise thought she got handed a child this episode. Annalise deceives poor Laurel this episode and also tells her Rebecca is alive. Annalise also broke confidentiality oath with Catherine.

She also keeps hallucinating throughout the entire episode. The last scene of this episode is her dancing around with an imaginary baby. Shit's hard for Annalise.

Wes:
Wes joined the facial hair crew. He was the student starter of the murder club, but one of the last for the facial hair crew. He's also being all dark and mysterious, which I'm sure one of my man-lovin' readers will like, because man-lovin' readers like that shit.

He walked into Annalise's house to find out stuff about Christophe. He finds nothing, because Annalise is smart enough not to store her life's biggest secrets on a blog or a Microsoft Word entry on her laptop. Looking at you, Person Who Stores Their Social Security Number on Word Document. Go fucking delete it.

Wes is also feeling suicidal. This is depressing. This is what murder does to you.

this is the face of a man done with the world

So that woman Annalise saw earlier on in the episode? Turns out she met her ten years ago. Annalise holds up a statue so Wes doesn't murder her. Wes asks Annalise if she actually thought that he wanted to hurt her. Uh, yeah? You fucking shot her? I swear to God, Wes.

Asher:
Remember when Asher went to the police after the murder? It was to say that he didn't think his father committed suicide. Damn this deceiving show. Damn it to hell, I say! Out, this damn spot! He thinks his father was murdered.

So Oliver and Asher aren't exactly BFFs. Oliver wants him to leave.

Connor:
Connor is stressed out this episode and keeps butting heads with Bonnie. Uh, Connor, that's the wrong girl to mess with. Paris Geller would skin you alive.

Oliver:
I literally laughed my ass off at the part where Oliver leaned over and whispered to Connor asking when Asher will leave. I've never related more to Oliver than I have now. Actually, that's a lie. I relate to him a lot.

Nate:
Nate checks in with Annalise. There's some emotional music then, so I couldn't hear what the fuck was being said. Also, there's the chance that none of that even happened, because Annalise is going through Hell right now!

Michaela:
Michaela is upset that she was the fifth wheel in the Student Killer Club. She didn't get invited to Asher and Connor's fun time with Oliver and then she also got left out of Laurel and Wes's slumber party. Her bae Caleb tells her that they all belong in Hell. Wow, fuck you, Caleb. Michaela is too precious for Hell. She's the most innocent one in this fucked up Murder Club. She's not even apart of the Murder Club. And Caleb, let me just say you're not saved from Hell, because you probably had something worse than that Folgers commercial with your sister. Reassess yourself, buddy. #MichaelaPrattDefenseSquad

[insert picture of Michaela in a fantastic outfit that I didn't get because my new screencapture software is a disappointment]

Catherine:
Catherine is being accused of an inappropriate relationship with Phillip Jessup. Jessup? Is that actually how you spell it? I... I hate to say it, but uh... I just don't care. Don't get me wrong, the actor is great and all, but I just don't care about his character that much yet. Yet. She also confessed to shooting Annalise, but said that Phillip drugged her. She's going to get 5 years in minimum security prison. Which is much, much more favorable than what she would probably get in real life.

Frank:
Frank is a sly motherfucker. Catherine thought that Phillip was the one who drugged her. You could just see the look on his face after she said it was Phillip and he realizes he's going to continue being a Frank. Keep on doing you, Frank. Please don't lick Annalise's face though.

Frank is going to be the only one who makes it out of this shit alive. I swear on that. You know why? Because he doesn't catch The Feelings™. The Feelings™ make you weak and make you do crazy shit. Sure, he might have feelings about Laurel, but they're not The Feelings™. It's not like how Connor is with Oliver. See, Connor has The Feelings™, which makes me worried about him. 

Rating: I don't know what the fuck happened, but I liked it.

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How To Get Away With Murder Midseason Finale 2x09- "What Have We Done?" (also known as ANXIETY.)

How To Get Away With Murder Midseason Finale 2x09- "What Have We Done?" (also known as ANXIETY.)

   11/20/2015       Unknown

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Last episode, right after a bunch of people got laid, (because apparently everyone in the show loves to have I'm so happy to be alive! sex 24/7) we found out Catherine is a big ol' tall liar. Except, y'know, Amy Okuda is probably actually short. Google doesn't have any clue what her height is, so I'm going to tweet her. Hopefully she responses in time so I can inform the Internet how tall she is. 

I've been thinking all week who shot Annalise. I'm willing to take the chance and say that the person who killed Emily Sinclair (or St Clair..) is Asher. I came to this conclusion because he is one of the only people who had that much interaction with her throughout the season. Perhaps the person who shot Annalise was Michaela. I know that's probably way off, and maybe I should be completely ashamed, but I think that having Connor or Wes shoot Annalise is too obvious. Plus, the latter already got their chance to murder someone. I think we're going to make every character in the show a murderer before allowing there to be repeat offenders. 

I also think that Michaela is the reason they're all there in the first place, because why the fuck not. 

And.... I was wrong about some things!

The Underdogs:

Annalise: 'Kay. She gets this genius plan to help Asher get away with his first murder (because baby children new to the murder game need a bit of help) and most of the episode she's on her phone calling people and telling Asher that Wes and the Accomplices killed Sam. Until the last five minutes, when she asks people to kill her to make it look like a crime scene, because Annalise takes her job way too seriously.

• She goes directly to her least fave, Connor, to shoot her. This is where I started making weird mouth noises, in which words like, "no!" and, "Don't!" could possibly have been made out. She tried to purposefully piss him off by saying that she's going to ruin his and his boyfriend's life, and even be the reason Oliver could go to jail. Michaela starts screaming for him not to do it, standing in between the two, so eventually Connor puts that gun down and leaves. 
• Then Annalise goes out of her way to tell her 3rd favorite that she's going to ruin her academic career. Michaela didn't shoot her. 
• Annalise goes to Laurel, which means that she's now the 2nd favorite. Laurel tears up and says that they should all go to prison. Maybe she isn't the beautiful murderous butterfly that we thought she was, which rules out her and Frank becoming a murderous duo. 
• But then, oh Christ, Annalise tells Wes about Rebecca. Remember Rebecca? That girl that's like the rebellious puppy your family gets and the puppy pisses on everything and chews on everything. Then 'someone' accidentally kills the puppy and your mom tells you that the puppy ran away. But then you find out that the puppy got ran over and you grow up with an intense hatred of your mom you let unleash after you turn 18. Except Wes found out how long afterwards? So he didn't let his hatred age like a fine wine, and he took matters in his own hands and shot her in the stomach.

Bonnie: Sometimes , Bonnie scares the hell out of me. She just casually comes up to the car where Asher hit Emily and calmly tells him that she'll help him. You know what? I was always trying to determine what character is How to Get Away with Murder's version of Huck from Scandal. I tried to guess between Phillip and Frank. But you know who is the most like Huck? Bonnie. 

Nate: He starts off the episode being accused of changing Phillip's files with the schizophrenic person's files by Emily. He gets fired because he yells at Emily for her ignorance that if you fuck with Annalise and Company, you will die. And guess what happened? Emily died. And Wes called him, because you know what? It's not Annalise and Wes. It's Nate and Wes. Do whatever you want with that mental picture as you please, because I no longer want it.

Frank: Frank just casually takes Catherine and y'know, kind of smothers her and makes her ingest some of Nia's pills. Don't worry, she's not dead! However, Frank looks dead inside while he's doing this all. He basically is the definition of the phrase, "Been there, done that," and I don't know how to feel about it. 

The (new) Murder Five (but still technically only 2/5 are actually murderers... as far as we know):

Connor: Connor wasn't too fond of the idea that they would make it look like a crime scene. You know, because now he is living the domestic life and his totally normal cinnamon roll of a boyfriend would not appreciate if he shot his professor. The professor that he doesn't think is that intimidating. He leaves the mansion after refusing to shoot Annalise. The last moment we see with him is him looking off into the distance, when he's probably reflecting on what the fuck went wrong with his life.

Michaela: Okay, this episode made me feel really bad for Michaela. In all of the previous flashforwards, she didn't look so upset. So I thought that maybe she kind of, y'know, accepted that this was her, uh, destiny. But nope, she pretty much had to watch her friend almost shoot the woman who told her that it was totally okay to believe that the guy she liked was innocent. She had to watch her friend almost shoot the woman who she aspired to be like. And she stood directly in front of him. And I was making my weird mouth noises, because as you all know, Michaela and Connor hold a special place in my heart. 

Laurel: She starts off the episode by being an art critic towards Catherine's creepy paintings. She tried to decide what to do with the gun, but ultimately, Murder Night 2.0 isn't about her. Maybe Murder Night 3.0 will be her night. Anyways, in the final seconds, I was totally expecting for the girl to just shoot Annalise for bringing up her dad. But instead she gets a little bit teary-eyed and says that maybe they should all go to jail for all the sick bullshit they get put through. Which made me a little bit emo, because I want to find good in these fictional characters and have them have alright lives. You know, like the fact Wes has had a rough life and he might have watched his mom kill himself, or the fact that Connor knows that people don't see the good in him and he's probably been referred to as a slut more times than he wants to be, or the fact that Laurel wants to become a lawyer to help the poor (even though she doesn't need the money), and Michaela, the girl from a shitty place who used academics to get herself where she needed to be. 

Asher: After Emily pushed his dad to suicide by releasing information to the press, he takes matters into his own hands and gains entrance into the Murder Club by backing up into her with his car. Wait, was I actually right about something on this show? Holy shit. This makes it twice now, and oh my god, both times were with Asher! I have Asher Senses! Of course, the kid is a bit traumatized, but it'll all get better from here! Or worse. Whatever.

Wes: He didn't play that big of a part this murder night 2.0 at first. He just kind of stood around awkwardly while almost everyone else danced around like ballerinas on crack to make it seem like the whole Emily thing was an accident. Then Annalise told him that she killed his girlfriend, so obviously that pissed him off and he took the gun and shot her where it hurt. That's right, ladies and gentleman, (and anyone in between, or even none of the above) Wes Gibbins didn't even shoot his professor in the leg. He aimed for something more serious. 

Then we get to the flashback from 10 years ago. After Wes shot Annalise, you can hear Annalise whispering, "Christophe," and it's fucking frightening because you know there's going to be some terrible stuff that's going to end in a cliffhanger. 

So Tiny Baby Child Wes is sitting down being asked questions about his mom. He asks if his mom is dead. Then the camera pans out and you see Annalise (with braids nevertheless) and Eve. Eve asks what they've done, and Annalise looks... remorseful. 

Hapstall Case of Happenings:

Emily Sinclair (or St Clair.. I am never going to learn it, lbr): Bringing up a man's dead wife is a gross thing. However, Bonnie bringing her dead body to the mansion is a new kind of fucked up. RIP Emily. Although lbr nobody on this show rests in peace. Just pieces.  Congrats on being the only character on the show that died before getting a sex scene. 

Catherine: Okay, so Frank gets her and makes her pass out. And of course, Annalise pins everything on her, because who else better to pin it on? If you're not there for .5 seconds, murder will be pinned on you. That's what I've learned from How to Get Away With Murder. That's why I stay in all of my classes and never skip a day, because what if one of my fellow classmates get murdered? #StayInSchool (or in Catherine's case, #StayHome)

Caleb: There's a lot I would do for my siblings. But nope, trying to hide a gun is too far. F-O-L-G-E-R-S. Then Michaela plans to livetext (it's like liveblogging... just... texting....) the whole thing for him. Of course, you probably can't send hey babe... my professor asked me to kill her.... over text.

 

Phillip: He goes around trying to meet up with Catherine, but I guess we won't know what happens until February 11th. 

Quote of the Night: Connor to Laurel, "Who thought we would be the last ones on the screw the client list?" 

Anyways, HTGAWM comes back February 11th. I know, I'll be dying too. I'll probably post my (terrible) theories throughout the break. 

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How To Get Away With Murder 2x08- "Hi, I'm Phillip" RECAP (also known as the episode where everyone got laid and were lying about everything)

How To Get Away With Murder 2x08- "Hi, I'm Phillip" RECAP (also known as the episode where everyone got laid and were lying about everything)

   11/13/2015       Unknown

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Last episode, we had received not enough of Michaela Pratt. Also, Eve came back and apparently, she knows that there's something about Wes that went on between him and Annalise. We still don't know what it is yet, but it's the reason Annalise has been protecting him to the literal- and metaphorical- grave. Annalise told Asher about Bonnie's past, and Bonnie found out. Bonnie then told Annalise she wanted her to die, which was a bit extreme. Also, Oliver met Phillip (the cousin of the adopted murder siblings) and it doesn't look so good. It looks like Bonnie

Speaking of Oliver, I almost got to watch The King and I the other day, which the actor who plays Oliver is in. But do you know how expensive New York is? I would have not had any money for anything else if I did it. So I'm sad I spent all my money on this ugly scarf that just gets uglier the more I stare at it. Kind of like a Halloween pumpkin you enter in on of those lame town pumpkin festivals you try to convince yourself every single year it has some meaning and entertainment value to it. 


The Flashfoward: Connor is in the mansion with Laurel, Wes, and Michaela. They're yelling at each other, and Bonnie comes in all Paris Geller style. She tells Connor that it was all his idea, and that if he doesn't learn how to quaporate that he'll be the next dead body in the house. Wes gives the gun to Bonnie. Then, at the end of the episode, we see Catherine in a car with Phillip. You know, the boy she swore she had noooooooooo clue existed.

The present: Bonnie hates everyone and everything while everyone else runs off trying to save Caleb and Catherine from going to jail. At the end, everyone has sex except for Asher, Bonnie, Catherine, and Wes. You know how you know people are doing well on this show? They get laid. Sex and Lying, catch it on ABC at 10 PM Thursdays!



The Underdogs: 
Annalise: This show uses Viola Davis's talent to the best they can. From letting her take a selfie perfectly on the first try (lmao how unrealistic- you need to take at least 30 to find the ones you want to present. It's like an art gallery! You don't take the only one you have. You debate for hours on which piece you want to flaunt around the world) and then her mischievous, manipulative ways.

Frank: Frank didn't like not being the favorite elf this episode. Especially when the only other elf had a substitute for the day. So he gives up $50,000 to help win Catherine and Caleb's case so he can be a favorite again. His face during the scene kills me.

Sidenote: Why is every single person's kitchen in this show so dark? Don't you need to see the food? Fuck y'all and your darkly lit kitchens.

P.P.S- I don't know why everyone on Tumblr hates Frank because he's 'problematic'. You're watching a show about fucking murder. Keep your dumb Tumblr bullshit away from me, because honestly, he's fucking hilarious.

Bonnie: The episode starts with Bonnie in the shower crying. That's literally all that we see of her. You know what the similarity of this episode vs Gilmore Girls was? We didn't have enough of Liza Weil.

Nate: You know, I'm glad this show is using Billy Brown to their advantage. I mean, some of that advantage is to show off his insane 20-pack during sex scenes, to which I say how? But this season, he's way more involved in everything. I still don't know what quite to think of him, but I sometimes feel like a bad person while remembering that he switched someone diagnosed with schizophrenia's file with Phillip's to save the day. So he's officially labelled the underdog this episode, because I don't know where else to put the poor guy.

Wes and the Accomplices (and Asher... and Oliver): 

Wes: We still don't know why Annalise would rather die than let this kid go to jail, but I'm expecting it'll come around the episode that they hired a child actor to play the part of Young Wes. I still can't say that he's done anything particularly worthy of the troops of people who hate him to back off. However, he did admit that he should probably just have gone to jail for murdering Sam, which made me feel a little bad for him.  I mean, come on, that's pretty emotional! And there's the whole one of the only characters that didn't get laid this episode thing.

Michaela: Michaela is basically the queen here, and she owns a fraction of my heart. I don't know how anyone can still hold grudges against this poor girl. First, she tries to find DNA samples to see if Phillip was lying about the uterus he came out of or the sperm he was created from. Then, later on, she gets laid for the first time in like, four episodes. And you know what? It was really romantic. Without all the murders, drugs, lies, and all sorts of other shit going on, it's like a romantic comedy between Michaela and Caleb! Just cut out 80% of the shit that goes on in her life, and the incest and murder charges with Caleb. I'm glad the babe got what she wanted, but I just want to trust him.

Also, high-five to the person who decided that Michaela needed to wear that sweater.

Oliver (and Connor so I don't have to repeat many things): So Oliver isn't in as much danger as we thought. Connor was relieved to know his boyfriend just went to go talk about World of Warcraft with a fucking suspect. You know, me and a friend of mine were talking about what video games the characters would play, and we did mention Oliver would probably know more about WoW than me. I think the reason why we love Oliver so much is because he's very relatable for many of us. He has a boring job and wants more excitement in his life.

I'm glad Oliver is safe (I mean, until Annalise knows about the sex on her desk thing- I have a feeling she'll be happy about it) but I feel as if the people who got really worked up over this were a bit disappointed. I predicted that Phillip was the Huck of How To Get Away with Murder, so I'm a bit disappointed and yet, at the same time, relieved.

Also, now we know that Oliver is into kinky things. Yeah, they had sex on Annalise Keating's desk at school. So next time we see the classroom and Annalise runs her hands over that desk, we can all have a laugh while our minds flashback to Connor licking the guy's foot.

Laurel: Laurel was a substitute for Bonnie this episode. At the very end, she got laid. Yeah, that basically sums up everything that happened with the girl.

Doucheface: Doucheface wants us to retire his nickname. He's also worried about Paris Geller, so I'm expecting her to break up with him over the phone like she did to her other boyfriend on Gilmore Girls.

Doucheface finds a wire in the pen. Of course, they use it to their advantage and pretend as if there was a gun in the Hapstall mansion. Which, of course, ends up with Emily getting a search warrant on the place.

The Hapstalls (and Jessups... and Sinclairs... or St Clairs....):


Catherine and Caleb: This episode, watching these two was like playing a handheld water game. You had to listen to Caleb saying he wanted a plea deal of 30 years so his sister got none, and then listen to Catherine almost take a plea deal of 10. You know, listening to them talk about how much they know about lawyers annoy the hell out of me, because if they really knew that much, they'd know that Annalise very rarely loses a case. Sure, you may later be involved in a completely different murder, but at least you won that first case, and plus the second case for the other murder won't even have you as a good suspect! At least Annalise won this case!

Anyways, the theme song for these two probably aren't really the Folger's commercial jingle. I mean, I won't let it go, so they probably at the very least have awkwardly groped each other a couple of times while watching America's Funniest Home Videos which is still really fucking gross. Their song is more like the, "Why you always lyin'" song, because Catherine is a big, dirty liar. She acted like she didn't know Phillip, but after seeing her in the flashforward, we know that isn't fucking true.

Phillip: So Phillip isn't as dangerous as we thought. Not yet, anyways. What this show taught me is that everyone can become a murderer (or an accessory) with time and after you just happen to fuck the wrong person. But he still wanted to tell the police, which of course sucked for Annalise. Anddddd... then we found out Phillip was a product of incest. God damn, that must have been such an ego boost for the actor who plays him.

Emily: Unfortunately, I don't think the writers here at edgerambles.blogspot.com are going to give too much of a shit when this girl is dead and gone. Stop calling the actress that plays her ugly, though, fuckheads. Seriously, how fucking immature can your stupid asses get? And this is coming from the person who does this for most of the day.

Quote of the Week: "My junk just inverted having to listen to your whiny ass." -Frank Delfino to Asher Millstone, 11/12/15

Honorable mention:

"You taste like my sauce." -Frank Delfino to Laurel Castillo, 11/12/15

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