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Let's Talk: The L Word
THIS IS FULL OF SPOILERS ABOUT THE SHOWTIME SHOW THE L WORD. Do not read if you don't want to know who ended up sleeping with who or who stopped sleeping with who or what else.
I am obviously not being paid for any of this. If I was being paid I'd care more about my grammar and awful puns in here.
Yes, I'm 2000 and late. I know this. I also know you're probably rolling your eyes at the first sentence and probably going to close out after seeing that. For all of you who don't, well, hey!
Today we're going to talk about The L Word. That TV show with a hell of a lot of nudity, lesbians, lesbian jokes, and lesbians. Mostly lesbian drama. Lesbian drama that you get sucked into and realize that you're starting drama with your own friends by ignoring them to watch a lesbian drama. Was that confusing? Probably.
I loved season 1 and 2. Season 3? You couldn't get me to watch that again with all the money in the world. Too depressing. Season 4 was hilarious, and season 5 was pretty good. Season 6 made me upset.
My opinions on the characters, though, well...
Jenny- Personally, I didn't mind Jenny. I know there's a bunch of people who feel differently, but I am not them and they are not me, you know? I hated some things she did, but I feel the same way about all the characters. I really found her the most interesting and relatable at first. I mean, I can't relate to Season 5 and 6 Jenny at all, trust me. But Season 1 Jenny is important to me.
Tina- I really liked Tina. I didn't like Tina at first. I don't know exactly why, but I didn't like her. Season 2 Tina was my favorite Tina. I like how caring and responsible she is in that season. I liked how independent she became.
Bette- I loved when Bette swore when she got mad. Beals is a terrific actress. But Bette needed a monogamy talk from Carmen.
I gave up not cussing on this blog. I'm going to shine my true colors here, and that involves swearing like a sailor. Sorry if you care.
Kit- You ever think about a character and think about how much that character deserved better? About how that character deserved to never be treated badly? About how that character deserved to shove creepy Mangus down a well? Oh, well, that's Kit. I genuinely wanted a spin-off where Kit just told her exes off.
Shane- I found Shane hilarious and her hair is perfect. But, goddamn it, Shane, couldn't you have listened to Carmen's bird speech? I'm sorry, I will never get over the bird speech.
Alice- Alice is probably my favorite out of all of them. I think I relate to her the most. She's adorable and a hopeless romantic and whenever she cries, my heart hurts.
Dana- It hurts. It really hurts. I loved her. She was a cute, awkward tennis player and I prefer to think that she didn't die. I'm still in denial and because of her, if I ever rewatch this show, I'll be sure to skip season 3. That way, I can pretend that she never died. And what kind of Devil's Work was her death scene? I can never hear the words, "You are my sunshine," ever fucking again without tearing up. All hate directed towards you, Ilene Chaiken.
Tim- He's like, the Larry of The L Word. But, unfortunately, "Fuck Tim!" does not have that same ring that, "Fuck Larry!" does. I'm glad he moved to Ohio, home of corn and hillbilly gangsters. I'm glad he probably is now that dad who gets pooped on by pigeons at cookouts and his kids and wife snicker about it.
Mark- He could have had a cute friendship with Shane. But nope. He had to exploit his lesbian roommates. I think he earned my least favorite character spot of #2. I secretly hope that Mark somehow ended up filming videos of corn in Ohio. Then, he and Tim could just spend their time together exploiting people and watching My Little Pony in Tim's basement like the sad, pathetic characters they are. Oh, and they probably play RPGs together and pretend to date or something on there to get attention. Then, with the attention, they promote Mark's film career. Tim's new wife is not proud.
Maybe they roleplay as lesbians or something in their spare time now that they were essentially put on a bus and that means I can practically say anything I want about them, because, well, it could have happened. I bet Mark would have some scene kid screen name. Tim, being the classier of the two, uses TimPlow6996 or something.
Also I totally didn't know that the actor who plays Mark is siblings with Blake Lively.
Carmen- Carmen deserved better. She should have married Shane and helped her through her problems. Plus, a character who can bring up birds and monogamy? That is a fan-favorite. She helped develop Shane's character a lot. When she and You-Know-Who left the series, it changed a lot.
Papi- Papi's character should have lasted for more than one season. That is all.
Tasha- Tasha is special to me. I knew I would like her since that second we first saw her. She has that whole military thing going on, and Alice dresses like a housewife... Basically, what I'm trying to say here is that there's probably fanfic of Tasha coming home after a war to Alice and their family.
Helena- I was glad that Helena wasn't just put on a bus and never returned. She would have been one character I would have hated such a thing to happen to. Helena is that rich woman with the crazy stories she tells at parties. She proved to be a great friend and person, but god dammit, Helena, you should have never gotten back together with Dylan.
Niki- She is pretty and sweet, but I didn't like her very much at the end. She was really dedicated to her work at first, and that's never a bad thing.
Max- Oh boy. I was never fond of him. It has nothing to do with him being transgender, but rather, how the show handled him in general. I think he could have used a stylist. I mean, come on. He is one of the very few transgender characters on television in history (trans representation is severely lacking in media) and he gets treated like crap. I mean, they had him dating someone so irrelevant to the series I forgot his fucking name. I don't think I will ever learn that guy's name, either. Don't comment his name, because I don't even care at this point. I'm ranting!
I mean, they could have hooked him up with someone better. They could have portrayed him better. They could have made him so much more than the person he was. But, with all we were given, I wouldn't have saved him from Ilene's mean tricks before any of the other characters.
Joyce- I wanted to put Sue so badly. Really, she didn't have as much as a part as the other characters did, but goddamn, when she did, it was perfect.
Jodi- She was amazing! She was a great character that represented a part of the lesbian community I haven't ever seen portrayed before on television. She was so strong and great and I wish she was in Season 6 more.
And finally....
Angelica-
Saddest scenes-
1.) Dana's death. I still don't understand why this was necessary. Could we not have nice things with this show? Was it illegal on this show for anybody to be happy? Apparently, Ilene Chaiken regrets it, but you know what? You could have done the most pathetic stunt ever. Lean in, Ilene. I got an easy way for you to pretend that never happened..
You could have just made it all some really, really, fucked up dream.
2.) Tina losing that baby. Then that one woman who said they lost that baby saying ignorant crap that I can only imagine coming from Westboro Baptist... the episode ends playing Hallelujah. I cried. Was as sad as Lena and Stef losing their baby. 0/10 I hate you Ilene.
3.) Carmen being left at the alter- Carmen deserved better than that, and you know it, Ilene!
4.) Dana's death.
Couples-
1.)Dana and Alice.
2.) Shane and Carmen.
3.) Tasha and Alice.
4.) Jodi and Bette.
Most hated characters-
5.) Tim. He seemed okay at first. Supportive. But then.. He became Tim. He doesn't get a higher spot because he leaves eventually for my home state.
4.) Max. I already stated why I don't like him. But he stuck up for himself and the transgender community, and I have to respect him for that.
3.) Angus. You don't cheat on Kit without me hating you.
2.) Mark. He could have.. not... filmed private encounters of his roommates.
1.) This stupid fool.
Who I think killed Jenny...
I'm going to be that asshole and say Ilene. Ilene killed Jenny, people!
Characterwise, I'm going to say all the characters that were put on a bus. They all rode a bus back to kill her. With Dawn. That is my theory. And I'm going to stick with it, dammit!
I'll leave you with one of the most iconic scenes of this whole entire thing:
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