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Lesbian Relationships on TV Problems
I have had so little sleep so bear in mind I'm going to be... well, me. Let's just say, I've watched the sun rise today and it's not because I woke up early enough to.
See, sometimes I get asked on Tumblr why I watch so much television with gay male couples, but not lesbians. Well, other than the fact that there's literally maybe all of three shows with lesbian couples that actually interest me (I hate watching shows about magic/supernatural/anything too out of the norm) and I've watched all three, there's also the fact that I think, for the most part, lesbians are treated much differently than gay or straight couples.
Say what you will about The L Word, but I'm glad that it happened. It showed some diverse relationships. There was a lot of cheating involved in most of the relationships, but it was a lesbian soap opera so I'm not really complaining there. By diverse relationships, I mean that we don't see the common trope that all lesbians only experience attraction to their friends or are only gay for one person. Sure, we got a lot of people who were seemingly only gay for Shane, but aren't we all gay for Shane?
The main thing I hate about a majority of lesbian representation on television is that it doesn't feel like the women are actually attracted to women. By this I mean that a lot of lesbian couples just seem to be gay for each other and not actually attracted to anyone else. Which might go back to a common misconception all together: the misconception that women can't actually find other women sexually attractive.
That's one of the things that hooked me on The L Word from the start. Once you saw their little group of friends sitting at the table, you heard Dana make a comment on how attractive Jenny was. And you learned that this wasn't a one-time "I'm only gay for you" thing for these characters. Sure, you had the spare character here and there who was mostly there to hook up with Shane, but even Tina who didn't have a relationship with a girl before she met Bette (well, unless you've seen the interrogation tapes- I'm still in awe) eventually had more relationships with females.
So, to answer the Tumblr questions on why I don't talk about as many lesbian couples as I do gay couples and what this means for my sexuality.. I guess I prefer that a lot of the gay couples on television actually feel like they're attracted to the gender of the person they're with. I mean, we have Connor and Oliver who can freely talk about The Thornbirds (I'm probably going to watch it later tonight to make myself laugh because a few of you on Tumblr say it's pretty insane) and talk/be with attractive men, but for most lesbian couples on television? It just feels like a friendship with a lot of kissing in between.
The thing that makes me so mad about this trope is that it's literally so easy to get rid of. Why can't you just have your lesbian characters talk about other women? I mean, I promise that us lesbians find people other than our partners attractive. I mean, dear God, did you even listen to lesbians talking about Orange is the New Black Season 3?
Repeat after me: "Lesbians can be attracted to more women than just one. They can be attracted to unattainable women, straight women, bisexual women, and lesbian women. They can have relationships with women who aren't just their best friend who is a bit curious and they fall in love. They can have all the things that straight people and gay men can have on television. They can be sitting on couches and making out and talking about how hot Margot Robbie is on The Wolf of Wall Street and enjoy that. They can be gay for more than one person. Lesbians are real people who experience attraction in all the other ways all these other couples on television can."
I'm using The L Word because it only feels right.
I just want lesbians who feel sexually confident and are dating people who aren't their best friend that after some dumb kiss they feel like they have to continue it further. I want lesbians who are hooking up with people they just met. I want lesbians who are dating the completely wrong people. I want lesbians who are unapologetically gay and do all sorts of crazy shit and at the day, can come back to their partner who they are extremely attracted to (unapologetically of course) and talk about other women they find attractive.
TL;DR: Most lesbians on television don't feel like actual lesbians. I just want a domesticated lesbian couple who I could actually think are legitimately attracted to one another instead of best friends who kiss every five episodes. And other lesbians. And maybe it's because there's not a lot of lesbians on television to begin with, but a lot of the relationships on cable just feel the same.
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