The topic for today hits a bit close to home for me.
Once, before I knew I was what I was, I hit on boys. Actually, not really hit on them. I just hung out around them until eventually they made a move.
There was this boy who I hung around with. He didn't like it when I said smart things about science, art, English, or just random facts I knew. He would always turn his simple head and say, "What?" Eventually, I caught on. It wasn't good for me to know more than him. So I played stupid.
I played stupid for so long I began to believe I was stupid. When I was in that miserable relationship of miserable misery, I was to be stupid. I was to be a child. I was not to have an opinion on much other than him, and that opinion was to always agree with him.
I still catch myself thinking I am actually stupid from time to time, but the thing is, I am not stupid. I have an extremely high English score when I test. I know how to read HTML. I know pretty much what every single file on The Sims is for.
More importantly, I know that these files are utterly pointless to me.
(Don't delete the ccmerged file if you have store content, though, and don't delete these files if you upload Sims)
Now, this guy isn't the brightest. I dyed my hair blonde and he felt as if I did it because I wanted to show the world my level of intelligence. Personally, I just like my hair blonde. Not like he would listen, because he lives in his own little world where everything revolves around him, but I have to clarify here that I am indeed a blonde because I like my hair that way. His intelligence, however, isn't the point here. The point is that I played stupid to make someone feel better about themselves when I should have done the right thing and perhaps gave them a piece of my mind.
One of the times my, uh, unpleasant experience came back was when I was watching The Fosters (10/10, recommend watching when some awesome human being cuts out every single part with Brandon Foster and the lame romances he pursues)
I spent far too long scrolling through Brandon and Callie fan videos and let me just say it did not improve my mood. They were all better quality than this. Not helping.
Nope.
I did tear up at that scene. It made me realize that there's plenty of people who have gone through similar things like me. They wanted to seem better for someone else, and that's the part that really go to me.
Where in life did we experience this? Where in life did we learn that we had to change ourselves to fit someone else's standards? Better yet, when did we finally learn to stick up for ourselves?
I just want to say that you, reader, do not have to change anything about yourself for others. You shouldn't have to feel that. You shouldn't change your hair, clothes, makeup, personality, or life for anyone else. You change those things for you. You, the person who you're always stuck with.
I learned today I'm going to have to write this post a bit early. I guess while I wait for my ice cream cake to dethaw I'll get started on this.
Have you ever noticed that we would gladly dish out money for just about anything, but the moment we think a piece of art is cool, then see the price tag, we think, "Oh I/relative/friend could totally make that! Never mind!"
Listen, artists have rough careers. So, imagine when you were constantly getting asked about what you wanted to be when you grew up. You get asked, "What do you want to do as a career?" What was your answer? Then imagine the following responses to your answer.
"Oh, well, you should always have a backup!" "You always have time to reconsider! You're still young!" "What else are you thinking about?"
Then realize that we never tell this to people going into politics, science, or math-incorporated careers. We support those people. We tell them that they will have good pay, a good life, and a multitude of other things. It's okay to be those things.
I think that it's important to support people. Unless they're a freaky murderer who wants to kill everyone. Then, uh, nah.
This isn't how it's hard to get into an arts career. This is about our constant doubt that someone can make it in an arts career, then when they're trying their best, we choose to be a complete Debby Downer towards them and not support them. Yes, Debby Downer is the term I'm using here to replace the swear words I have in mind. Again, I try not to swear on here.
I think I need to be a bit more clear to some people. Artists spend years on their craft. They spend hours and days at a time focused on what they do. They develop a style over a course of time. Then they spend more time trying to simply get exposure for their art. Then, you, being the person you are, decide that someone else could make it for you for cheaper. Except for the fact they usually can't.
It's so silly that people look at being a doctor, being a social worker, etc. as a real job, but art is not a real career to them.
To all artists out there that want to make their love a real career: go. Fight for it. I believe in every single one of you. Unless you're that kid in my school who makes raps. You, my friend, are just annoying when you tell girls inappropriate things and bully literally everyone.
I think most people have a, "It's cool until I have to pay for it," view on art. Which, I think as a society, we need to try our hardest to turn away from that.
Actually, this isn't a crash course on normalizing media. This is just an honest-to-gosh post about the media and how we need representation. Also, let me just write one sentence about how it's my birthday today. You may be asking yourself, "Darn, Brianna is so serious about life. She's posting this on her birthday, when she could be hanging out with other people and eating cake and doing absolutely anything but this!" Well, this post was scheduled. I picked the topic about a month ahead, because I really do find this stuff interesting.
I remember my first time seeing a lesbian couple on television. An actual, breathing, kissing, lesbian couple that were in an actual relationship, instead of just a fan-theorized gay couple. I remember I was watching Animal Planet when I first heard a woman talk about her girlfriend on television. I mean, I think my first time seeing a gay couple on television was from Glee. Oh Glee. My first time I saw a lesbian couple married on television doesn't feel that long ago. Stef and Lena from The Fosters.
If only I could still watch this show, 'cause Brandon's just intolerable and I can't bear to let my eyes watch that boy ruin everything good and holy on this show.
Like, heck yeah, ABC family, you show that lesbian interracial couple! You get past all the haters at 1 Million Moms (who, false advertise- they don't have one million moms) who say this show is not for childrens' eyes because of the lesbians. Seriously, this is a very tame couple compared to all the other shows I've watched. Also, Jude is a little boy who is confused about his gender identity and sexuality.
Then I got into Orange Is The New Black. Oh boy. That show is NSFW (but why would you be watching it at work) and I love it. Are shows about crime being popular like an actual trend right now? Whether or not, I like it. Yes, give me all those gay couples on crime shows. On OITNB, there's plenty of lesbians and the main protagonist is a bisexual woman. There's a transgender hair lady and she's played by the always lovely Laverne Cox. There's plenty of different races on there and Poussey is like, hands down, my favorite.
Also, I started watching The L Word. Alice is my favorite so far. So many random NSFW scenes. So many.
I also love How To Get Away With Murder. We all know this. I won't shut up about Connor and Oliver, I know. That show has a cast who are racially diverse, and Connor is gay. Oliver is gay too, and together they make the perfect I'll-Hack-Computers-For-Your-Case-If-You-Kiss-Me couple. Also, I had a theory that Rebecca was bi. At least, I hope she was. Did you submit to my inbox yet? You know, for birthday purposes.
Think about it this way, you would probably be weirded out if I shut up about them.
Plus, they're cute. Don't lie to yourselves.
I guess I never thought about this until just recently, but honestly? We've come a long way in representation in television. I remember those moments of first hearing a girl call another girl her girlfriend, and thinking, "Woah, it's okay to be that on here? Yay!" I guess I'm so used to the movies I get dragged to. You know, one woman protagonist who gets some man and they live their life together after the man fights someone blah blah blah. I mean, I know movies are typically one hour and thirty minutes long, but come on. You've got to be kidding me.
It's so refreshing now to see a world that I barely saw a few years ago. A world created by people who are writing things they can relate to. A world that isn't so scared anymore of what they deem 'different'.
Of course, there are people who just don't understand, saying that making television, books, and movies isn't going to change a thing in the world. Those people are, typically, the people who are well-represented here on television, books, and movies.
Was talking to someone, and talking about my story I was writing (finished it, very terrible now that I look back on it) and mentioned the fact I had a character who didn't quite fit into the gender binary. They took it as the character was male. They said, "Good for you. You're a female and females typically write chick flicks, so it's good you don't only write females." I said the character was neither, and it made the conversation awkward.
I am making TV look like the world looks. Women, people of color, LGBTQ people equal WAY more than 50 percent of the population. Which means it ain’t out of the ordinary. I am making the world of television look NORMAL.
I am normalizing television.
Shonda Rhimes said this, and let me just say, I have to agree. Now, if you need a refresher on who she is, she is the executive producer of How To Get Away With Murder, the head writer of Grey's Anatomy, and Scandal.
Having one female character on a movie who, "has three brothers" and therefore knows how to fight isn't progressive. The female character always hooks up with a male lead. She is typically a white woman. She is also typically- and excuse my language, I try not to swear here- a badass. But not in a cool, Annalise Keating badass way. A, "I am here to be a token female character who is conventionally very attractive, but kind of a tomboy, and I will hook up with the male lead at the end after like, eh, five conversations."
It's frustrating. It's frustrating to see people writing characters that are carbon copies of one another. All the straight, white, male characters get the interesting roles and everyone else is left in the dust with too many shows. It's frustrating to see good plots with boring characters that don't represent the real world.
Whoopi Goldberg was inspired to pursue her career after seeing someone like her on Star Trek. Lucy Liu dreamed of seeing someone like her on television. Let's not even forget to mention that, after seeing Lupita Nyong'o, a girl decided against using skin bleach.
Seeing gay people on television gave me a reason to be more comfortable with myself being the way I am. Seeing people with disabilities encouraged me to learn more about ableism. Seeing Lauren on Faking It made me realize I needed to educate myself about intersex people. Seeing Cole on The Fosters made me learn so much about transgender issues.
Alternative universe where Cole and Lauren Cooper make Brandon Foster cry, please and thank you.
Brandon Foster is the worst character on television ever and I'd pay anything to see him not be on that show anymore so I don't have to see his sorry face on there again.
Was that mean? It probably was mean.
Of course, the people behind the cameras, words, and everything else possible matter, too. If you are a female, person of color, and/or LGBTQ and you like to write, direct, etc, go for it. Don't let someone tell you you can't do that because you are a female, not white, or not straight. They are wrong. You can conquer the world with your talents.
This world we are making with media should reflect how the world actually is. We need gay people. We need transgender people. We need bisexual people. We need asexual people. We need pansexual people. We need people whose romantic and sexual orientation do not match. We need women. We need people of color. We need people of different body shapes. We need people with mental and physical disabilities. And, most importantly, we need to stop treating it like a crime to have more than just the token characters required so most of the community will never complain. It's not an excuse to say, "But if we make too many gay men, what happens if the girl viewers are attracted to them and they're not attracted to them after learning that they're gay?"
Reasons you are wrong #1-
This is Connor Walsh. He is gay. Both the male and female viewing of HTGAWM has a giant crush on him. Including me.
And I don't even like men.
It's silly to make excuses for things like this. This isn't hard. Writing gay people is not that different than writing straight people. Casting people who have different races isn't hard. Writing females isn't hard. Writing people who are transgender or non-binary isn't that hard. Writing people who have mental illnesses or physical disabilities isn't hard. If you can't do that in 2015, you are probably very, very lazy.
Anyways, as a little birthday gift to me, who are some of your favorite characters in books, movies, and television shows that are some of the things that this post mentions?
Also, happy birthday to me and I'm looking forward to writing blog posts all month! Scary, but excited!
Okay, so if you actually read this blog, you'll know I'm going to do something crazy. I'm planning on posting a new blog post every single day of May. I'm not even going to lie, this blog post is mostly for me to keep organized, but if you want to know what days you can tune in or decide to skip, here you go.
May 1st- Representation in Media (and a little sidenote about it being my birthday- I've already written this post hahah)
May 2nd- Why We Shouldn't Kill the Arts
May 3rd- Don't Belittle Yourself for Others
May 4th- Body Love
May 5th- Why I Love...
May 6th- Those Awful Chain E-Mails Have a Point..
May 7th- Influences in Life
May 8th- For my LGBTQ Followers...
May 9th- Unexpected
May 10th- Social Media
May 11th- Sad Thoughts
May 12th- Awful 'Friends'
May 13th- Looking Up!
May 14th- Feelings 2.0
May 15th- Growing Comfortable
May 16th- Girl Love
May 17th- Waiting
May 18th- Late Night Thoughts
May 19th- For a Laugh
May 20th- Spring, Man
May 21st- Straight-edge Appreciation
May 22nd- Recovery
May 23rd- Stop Measuring Life and Success in Numbers
May 24th- Being Honest with Yourself (Probably Feelings 3.0, let's be real here)
May 25th- Reclaiming Yourself
May 26th- Old Doesn't Mean...
May 27th- Education
May 28th- Friendships
May 29th- We're Going To Get Through This..
May 30th- Pets
May 31th- Questions Answered
Be prepared for all the HTGAWM screencaps in May! I'm so prepared.
First off, sorry for the mess that my blog was the other night. I think that this theme will do just well. You know, you can make comments, actually see the correct date, and actually read the post. That's always a good thing, eh?
Today has kind of been a mess for me. I'm wondering if I should slow down with posts here, just because next month I'm going to be posting every single day. However, I think I should probably just get used to posting so often this month.
Anyways, enough with my blog stuff that none of you really care about anyways.
All you are really here for is my carefully placed HTGAWM references and crap, don't you lie to me!
[read that in Annalise's voice, please]
Anyways, friend, I hope you've had a good day. Really. I hope you've had as lovely of a day as my friend Brett has. He was listening to the radio this morning and his idol Fred Rogers' wonderful birthday theme song started playing when they announced the birthdays today. He is literally going to be Fred Rogers. Well, the science teacher version of Fred Rogers.
What today's post is about is doing things for the right reasons. Mostly about doing things online for the right reasons.
You have something that interests you, right? You have a passion, right? Whether that be writing blog posts like me, writing stories, acting, drawing, singing, or whatever else, you love doing it, right?
What do you think about people who only are into your passion for the recognition?
Let me just say this. I love writing blog posts. I love drawing. I love writing stories. I do not do those things for the numbers. I mean, I would love to make a career out of these things and maybe my opinions will change then once there's a source of income getting in, but I really do not care much about numbers.
It's so silly to spend so much time on something because you want to conform to a standard to make people like you. You know what? Some people out there are going to like your stuff, no matter what. Don't just start a YouTube channel, blog, pursue acting, pursue singing, etc. just because you think that you will get famous. What's the important thing is that you enjoy it and you want to let others enjoy it with you.
Besides, that whole, "I want to be famous" thing is overrated anyways. Sure, it's nice having people comment on my stuff. Does that make me famous? No. Does that make me happy? Yes. Do I only write blog posts or whatever because I want views? No.
It's not realistic anyways to think that you're going to start something and get views, likes, or recognition instantly. You're going to most likely quit if you don't have the passion for it.
I think that you should start doing things for you. If you want to pursue something, do it because it makes you happy.
Besides, at the end of the day, when you are staying up at two in the morning to pursue whatever, you're going to feel better knowing that you're not just doing this for the public. You're also doing it for you.
I was so excited to write another blog post. Yesterday I kept refreshing and hoping to findan excuse to keep writing. I like to space my posts out between days, but I've been trying to just post when I get a good idea.
Today, I am going to write a post about accomplishments! Whew, accomplishments. Also known as those things you hung up on the fridge if you got a good grade on it. Which are also known as math tests, but getting a good grade on a math test when you were in elementary school made you feel on top of the world. While we may not exactly hang up our accomplishments on the refrigerator anymore, (I still hang up my assignments I've done well on the refrigerator) we still have accomplishments. Big or small.
I wrote a paper at four A.M. I got it back today. My marks? 148/150. I was happy, to say the least.
You should be proud of your accomplishments. You're never too old to be smiling all day because you have done good. Just like you're allowed to do good, you are also allowed to feel good about doing good. Woah, a lot of good.
Even if your accomplishments are doing well in math. Even if your accomplishments are the accomplishments you get from Steam. Even if your accomplishments are coding a website. They are all accomplishments, nevertheless.
Accomplishing things are just a part of life. Don't let people make you feel down about being excited for doing good. Debby Downers are only fun if you're all down at the same time, eating lunch together and talking crap about people. Especially Rebecca, that girl who stole your boyfriend and then also your new boyfriend. Then she stole money from you. She's obviously awful, don't let them tell you otherwise.
This is not the Rebecca we are talking about though.
This Rebecca had a rough life and we should all feel ashamed for judging her so soon.
She's just a cute brunette who had the worst luck ever and didn't deserve the stuff that happened to her.
Feel good today about all you have achieved. In the famous words of the show Community.... "You go, girl!"
Okay, so before I get into the depressing mess this post will be, I have something to announce. First off, happy belated Easter! Wouldn't have been belated if I wrote this blog post sooner, but I never said I was entirely perfect. Second off, the announcement. I will be writing a blog post every single day in May. Even on my birthday. Psst, my birthday is the 1st of May.
Just send me pictures of screenshots from HTGAWM for my birthday. I promise I don't have them all. My submit is here on Tumblr, I think.
I really like Katie Findlay, too, remember that.
Anyways, on to the serious stuff. Being the second option. Now, this can be taken as a platonic friendship or an, er, not so platonic relationship. Whatever floats your boat, dear.
I've been thinking about this topic a lot in the past few days. It's something that's hitting close to home right now, to say the least. I don't like it, but I've always been the second- or third, fourth, fifth- option in life. I've had very few friends that put me above others.
Here's the thing. We can't make people like us. We can't make people prefer us. We just sit in the back watching all this crap go down, down, in an earlier round (I'm so sorry oh my god) and hope. Hope that things don't work out, that we're victorious. We get jealous. We're human. We do this.
I guess this path makes us hate more than we should. Maybe that speeds up the part when we grow even more distant- that part where we start to hate the first option. Maybe it wouldn't kill us to say hi to the first option.
In my own personal experience, there's a few stages to this.
Well, first off, sorry for the lack of thought into color choice there.
Second off, add a vague fight after you realize you hate the new person somewhere around there.
Here is the thing. I'm not going to make some speech about how you are the only person you should really be there for in life 100%. I'm not going to make some speech about how you'll be happy in the end. I'm not going to say anything like that.
You probably feel like you're not good enough. It has nothing to do with you. It has absolutely nothing to do with you. You are good enough and you do not deserve this.
What I want to say is that, one day, you'll meet someone who will put you first in a majority of things and actually consider you their best friend. I get it might take awhile, but for all my readers who watch YouTube, guess what YouTubers had the same things happen to them for years? Who has an absolute best friend now?
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