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Hiding
Sorry for the lack of blog posts lately. I haven't been a good blog owner, have I?
I think I'm traumatized about the whole Life is Strange episode. Guys, I was never expecting that. I just wanted a pretentious game about a time-traveling hipster who has her punk best friend as a loving (yet troublesome) sidekick. I really didn't see any of that coming.
I know it's about time for people to go back to school.
See, I'm going to give a little bit of insight in my life. I live in a small town with very little relevance in the world. Like, if my town was wiped off the planet this instant, nobody would even care.
In my small town, there's people who talk and talk and talk. Everyone knows everything about everyone. And since I mentioned Life is Strange, I'm thinking about the conversation Max and Chloe had at the end of Episode 1. But I can assure you that nobody has time travel powers and our town isn't going to be wiped out by a tornado on Friday. Trust me, we'd know.
I try to not bring up too much on this blog that would get me in severe trouble, but let me just say that everyone knows everyone's secrets. I could write a whole 'nother blog post about what I know about people, but people from town read my blog. I mean, I think.
See, I know that it's just human nature for people to talk. You can't stop people from it. However, there's something that feels like you're suffocating when everyone knows that you're dating Ken. I mean, I'm not dating Ken. You're dating Ken.
Obviously.
I've always been quiet. In fact, it's just been in the past few years where I really started to find my 'voice'. I think this was really easy for me when I had a friend/ex-boyfriend who I could hide behind and he'd answer anything for me.
Eventually, he became a huge not-nice word
One day, after a really awful New Year's Party, I realized that being behind people isn't where I fit best. I may be shy, but I can speak for myself. I am my own person, not a part of him. I like punk music and playing Roller Coaster Tycoon 2. I like females and only females. I have taken college classes since 16, and now Excel formats are permanently engraved into my brain. I've struggled, fought, and gotten better.
I don't think there's any problem with being shy. I understand wanting to hide in your group of friends. I still do that, but not with such crappy people anymore. You can still have fun while hiding (Hide and go seek was the ****) and be your own person. However, there's a difference between being a wallflower and never sharing your opinions.
I'm my own spokesperson on this blog. I'm my own spokesperson for 95% of my life now. I started the Internet to become my own person. It made me feel good. It made me feel like my own person for once in my young life.
When you're not outspoken, people speak for you. That's good if they're saying the right things.
It's okay if you're not speaking. It's not okay if you're suffocating from people who are speaking over you. It's not okay if you're not living the life you want to live because people are being assholes and speaking for you and what you want.
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