Okay, okay. I gotta clarify before I jump into this, since I know some people are going to be butthurt over this. Some of these things I like.
Some.
However, it is in The Bible we laugh at embarrassing/awful fans of things. And since I am a child of God, I will listen to Him, for it is He who revives me.
I really can't come up with a numbered list for this, because there is no arbitrary number I can apply to this. There's embarrassing fandoms everywhere.
I assure you if you can look at this list and think, "Oh god, I was like this," you've succeeded past the embarrassing fan stage. If you look at this list and see what you like on it and can laugh, then good!
Skam
The fans treat this show as an academy-award winning romantic drama.
Don't let it fool you; it's a Norwegian teen drama.
This show should stop tainting my kpop-filled dash, immediately. Or else I'm not going to feel bad when there's an American version.
Grey's Anatomy
Half of your faves are dead. Let's look at this (accurate) graph:
It's gone on long enough. Shonda, kill it already. Pull the plug. Do what you did to McDreamy, god damn it! You've went through enough academic journals and you can stop it now. You can focus on making Scandal watchable again, please!
My Chemical Romance
I actually really love this band. But my god.
Gerard Way is an amazing artist, but he is pretentious when it comes to music.
If you talk about Gerard or Mikey in any way the fans don't like, you are going to get told their backstories with mental illnesses. Which is dumb, because people need to be held responsible for their actions. And I am saying that as someone who is dealing with mental illnesses of my own.
Frank fans just seem to like his other bands, and Ray's fans are chill as fuck.
So, Gerard and Mikey fans, take note. Those are the good kids.
Axis Powers: Hetalia
I love Hetalia. Hetalia was the very first anime I ever saw. It was also the very first webcomic I read for more than two minutes. It is full of fun facts about history, and the character designs Himaruya has made for each country leave me, as an American artist, sad that we don't value quality character design.
However, the fans give me so much secondhand embarrassment. Just go to any Hetalia video on YouTube and look at the comments. They'll mention about how they made a Hetalia reference in their social studies class and how them and their weeb friends got it. Or worse, they'll tell their teacher about Hetalia.
I don't think I was ever like this. I mean, my phone background is of Austria because well, why the fuck not? I also have a Hetalia sticker on my Mac, but since I am so ashamed of the fandom I don't take my Mac anywhere now. I know that people probably don't know what it is, but oh god, what if someone does?! I can't have my street cred ruined by this.
The bright side is that most of their comments are six years old or more, meaning they have most likely graduated high school by now and aged their feelings about Hetalia like fine wine.
Also, there's a bunch of anime fans who do this shit, so I don't want to single out Hetalia for this very reason. But, I mean, are you mentioning Ouran Highschool Host Club to your innocent teachers? Probably not. The one thing I have against Host Club is the fact Onision likes it, but that's a topic for a different day.
Sports!
I'm writing this on Superbowl Sunday, but that doesn't mean I have to pretend to understand the appeal of it. Is the appeal food? Because that's the appeal for me.
I don't get it. Why watch some sweaty men run around a field with a ball?
Superwholock
It's 2017.
It is 2017 and I still have to see Supernatural, Sherlock, and Doctor Who fans. What's even worse, though, is the combo of the three. Sure, you can like one of those and still be annoying, but somehow being a fan of all three is the most irritating thing ever when you are embarrassing enough.
Don't get me wrong! Doctor Who fans are cool. In my experience, they're just really big nerds I want to hug.
Sherlock fans, you don't get a lot of stuff to be excited about, so you're not typically spamming my Tumblr dashboard with bullshit.
Supernatural fans are the ones I really have something against, though. I can't pin it on one thing, exactly. Maybe it's the fact the fucking show should have ended, oh, perhaps 7 seasons ago. Then there's those fans who insist that those two characters are gay for each other.
I mean, if you look at this and think this belongs on anywhere other than Tumblr, I'm kinkshaming you.
DC/Marvel
These two are almost interchangeable in the sense that both groups of fans won't admit to themselves their movies typically suck.
Sonic the Hedgehog
I loved playing Sonic. I even had the fake flash game on my website from years ago.
Then I saw the fanart, and now I can't look at it again without my eyes burning.
Steven Universe
'Kay, the vocal minority is what makes this end up on my list.
My friends love this show, and they're so cute when they talk about this show. They list this as one of the good American animations. One of the people who works on this show is an alumni of my school. I hear good things about the people who work on this show all the time, and one of my favorite celebrities is married to a voice actor from there.
That doesn't excuse the fact that 5% of the fans make me want to jump off a bridge into a river.
Mostly the ones who send death threats to people for drawing fan art that doesn't depict the characters in the way they want. Get the hell over yourselves; artists can draw whatever they want.
Can't the cool people enjoy their genderless space rock show in peace without me having to unfairly lump them in with these crazy people?
True Crime Community
People can be interested in morbid things. I mean, I loved Six Feet Under and (spoiler) everyone dies at the end.
But the True Crime Community (especially the Columbine people) make me want to pull my hair out.
Maybe my tolerance for these people breathing the same air as me deteriorated when a kid from my high school wrote an entire story where I have sex with him in both female and male version and then kills everyone off in a school shooting. He would also say that since the school wouldn't let him dress up as Hitler, he wanted to shoot up the school.
So naturally, I do have a bit of a fear of school shooters. Especially after our school, in my opinion, didn't take the situation seriously enough. What is even better is that another kid brought a gun to school just a couple of weeks ago!
The second I say something about how screwed up the true crime community can be, I get attacked for 'not understanding them'. I also get called a bitch who doesn't understand the true victim in the situation. What.
Let's look at it this way:
These people love the Columbine shooters, but demonize the Orlando shooter for being homophobic.
What the hell is your logic here? They were all awful people who deserve the awful things said about them- and their supporters- before and after death. Fuck these people. Any other normal, good person can turn the other cheek when someone says something stupid about them. But these fucking idiots couldn't.
I hope there's an afterlife specifically so these people can burn in hell.
Milo Yaoipolopussie Fans
Nobody would care who this guy was if he was straight. Even he knows that.
Nobody would care who this guy was if he was a liberal. Perhaps he knows that.
He is a white nationalist attention whore.
Donald Trump
This guy. This fucking guy.
His fans are typically uneducated, in relationships with their sisters, and smell like a Subway sandwich in the back of a dumpster. Either that, or prolife women who want to assure me I need to birth a child out of my vagina to truly live. Uh, no thanks, either way. My culture doesn't like sister-fuckers or children.
Then there's the normal ones who vote Republican but hate how he is running the country and will speak out against him. Like Mitt Romney. I miss that guy. I have no problem with Romney. #Romney2012
But people voted for this guy because "he tells it like it is". Except... he doesn't.
My dad believes that Trump is draining the swamp, but it 'takes time'. Well, I mean, if you count adding alligators and pumping more water in the swamp as draining, then sure!
I'm just watching this trainwreck unfold right before my eyes, and I feel like an ass for it. I warned people. I protested this shit. But since you know so much better than me, guess you're going to have to live with that feeling you voted for a toddler.
We could have had anyone else.
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